WHAT APPEARS TO BE

How effective are you as a leader?

Besides being a good question to ask, this question is intended to demonstrate something powerful. When a question is asked, the mind immediately begins to search for an answer.

It’s a fact: questions trigger the mind. This simple truth has a profound impact because it alters focus.

WHAT MIGHT BE

How are questions used in your workplace? Many people use questions to trap others – to unveil the errors and flaws and inadequacies and spots in others.

A friend, Marc, who lives near Boston, is not your average leader. To elevate his leadership he recently started a meeting by asking, “What are the successes you’re experiencing with this project?”

This is an important question that delivers on many levels. Yet, Marc’s team was not used to questions, so one woman responded with a shrug of her shoulders, “I don’t know the right answer.”

WHAT CAN BE

“I tried to tell her there’s no wrong answers,” Marc said. “That’s when it occurred to me: If I’m going to become an effective leader I’ve got to control my ego. Her response said a lot about how and why I used to ask questions.”

Take this test before asking future questions: What do you plan to do with the information you gain by asking questions? If it’s anything other than serving the person, team, organization and business results, rethink your question.

It’s a test worth taking. Asking the right type of questions is instrumental in allowing a person to engage others, build capabilities, move relationships forward, and deliver stronger results.

What difference do you want to make with your questions?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

It’s 7:30 a.m. The workday is beginning…and you’re stressed. You barely have the energy to get out of your chair, let alone run the “to-do list marathon.” And this on top of the one hundred #1 priorities you have to complete.

Sound familiar? If so, you suffer from an affliction called Monkey Mind. This ailment cripples people, organizations and families, and ultimately costs billions.

WHAT MIGHT BE

The percentage of engaged workers stands at 28% (Gallup). Of this remaining percentage, how many are highly productive and operating with a ‘quiet mind’? “Very few,” is what we hear.

Why? Because of the Monkey Mind. Like a child who watches hours of television and is conditioned to operate with a short attention span, our high-tech world and pressing business issues – when combined with the lack of discipline in our focus – create a storm in our heads, leaving us stressed out and overwhelmed.

WHAT CAN BE

A friend once said, “I was at the beach, relaxed, and realized something that changed my life: It wasn’t the beach that relaxed me, it was how I navigated my thoughts while at the beach that did it. So I brought that approach back to work with me. I’ve never had Monkey Mind again.”

Here are four steps to locking up your Monkey Mind:

1. Acknowledge that things are as they are. To fight what already is…is a costly battle.
2. Ask yourself, “How can I take responsibility right now?”
3. Realize that you are autonomous; your thoughts and actions are NOT a condition of the circumstances around you.
4. Dance! Because you determine your own worth, is there any reason why you shouldn’t live and operate the way you want to?

Taking these four steps impacts productivity immediately, and delivers something we intended to keep our entire life: joy.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Where are the important decisions being made in your company?

Have you ever attended a meeting where people nod their heads in approval of a plan being discussed. They may even smile. Sometimes they even voice their commitment to supporting the initiative. And then…

WHAT MIGHT BE

…and then these same people, at the end of the day, as they walk to their car, congregate with other like-minded people and conduct “The Parking Lot Veto.” “They’re crazy if they think I’m going to support that,” they say. In mere seconds, everything that was accomplished in earlier meetings, indeed agreed upon, is dismantled.

Teams that use The Parking Lot Veto as a business strategy suffer. Alignment is an illusion. More meetings are necessary. And customers, who sense the poor quality, walk away.

WHAT CAN BE

How do we stop The Parking Lot Vetoes? The average person is quick to point fingers, blaming others. This oft-used tactic actually breeds more of the same behavior as people rush to the parking lot to vent their frustrations.

There’s a better way to lead. Here are three steps to stopping The Parking Lot Veto:

1. Build relationships. As is stated in our upcoming book, Stomp The Elephant In The Office, people who have good relationships with others will then be accountable to those same people. Few people sabotage their partners.
2. Consistently cultivate the understanding that all ideas have merit. It’s a fact: People are going to share their thoughts; lead in a way where they can do that in front of you.
3. Tap into the motivations of everyone involved. If the only person who is motivated to see a project through is the boss, you can guarantee there will be plenty of “vetoes” later.

Where are the decisions made in your company – in your meetings, or in the parking lot?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

A reader shares that they recently received a job promotion. What can they do to ensure success?

The answer to that question can be distilled down to three words. Watch what happens between the two most common approaches to such an opportunity.

WHAT MIGHT BE

The first approach is the SACK approach. The person, because he or she received the promotion, begins to think that nothing about them smells. Therefore, they become:

• Selfish. Promotions become more important than organizational success.
• Apathetic about any issue that doesn’t directly affect their personal success.
• Conceited. It’s the “ivory tower” syndrome.
• Killer of the ideas and potentials of people around them, for fear their star won’t shine as bright as others.

Like someone singing a solo in a choir, these people stick out as the only song they can sing is MeMeMeMeMeMe! The successful companies out there sack people who take this approach.

WHAT CAN BE

We all know someone who has responded to a promotion more effectively. They use the 3 H’s. They stay:

• Humble. Success is not about them, and they know that.
• Hungry. These people remain eager to improve simply for the sake of improvement. Life is about learning for these people.
• Helpful. A passion to serve is what drives these people, and it’s why they sleep well at night.

There are special people around us whose last promotion was long ago – and yet they experience success again and again because they live the 3 H’s. That’s because they figured something out: promotions are not an objective, they are a consequence.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Jim Collins’s popular book Good to Great makes it clear: You have to have the right people on the bus and they’ve got to be in the correct seat if you’re going to be successful.  But…

WHAT MIGHT BE

…history is littered with companies who were driven into the ditch by “drivers” who demanded that things be done their way. Companies hit unnecessary road blocks because the boss only reads “one way” road signs.

In addition, as discussed in our book Stomp the Elephant in the Office (Wister & Willows, 2008), many people try to drive forward while looking backward in the rearview mirror. That’s impossible.

Different circumstances require different leadership styles. Too many people in the “drivers seat,” however, often rely on one leadership approach – which can be summed up by the popular t-shirt: “Get in. Sit down. Shut up. And hang on.”

WHAT CAN BE

There’s a better way to steer the bus. Bob, who works for a Cincinnati company, has seen the achievement of organizational goals come at a rapid pace since he and his teammates altered their leadership style. "It’s a paradox,” he said. “To be an effective leader you have to be able to take a back seat when necessary. Leadership is about coordination and facilitation as much as anything else."

Whether it’s leading projects, conducting meetings, or running a company, we all get to see what the view is like from the drivers seat. What do you do when you are there? Do you drive the bus into the ditch – by being a boss? Or do you drive down the road of success – by ensuring people on the bus feel good, their ideas are included, and their motivations are tapped?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

What percentage of people around you, when faced with a difficult situation, run from it? Hide from it? Or use the “wish management” approach, as in “I wish this problem didn’t exist”?

In our upcoming book, Stomp the Elephant in the Office, we discuss how many people – regardless of position – rarely take action when there is a difficult issue taking place or a difficult decision to be made.

There is a better approach.

WHAT MIGHT BE

People who hide from difficult or uncomfortable situations speak the “cluck-cluck” language of leadership. I know. I used to speak it well. I figured that if I risked dealing with the issue I would expose my inadequacies. Because the truth is, it was far easier to be critical of others…than do anything about it myself.

WHAT CAN BE

Mi amigo bueno, Ezequiel Ruiz, shared the legend of the eagle with me. He said that eagles, if trapped by an on-coming storm, fly directly into the storm. These creatures do not run; they attack. They know that if they are to survive they must play the game on their terms.

Whether or not this is true doesn’t matter. It serves an important purpose. By playing chicken we perpetuate the very thing we don’t want to have happen. By addressing the ‘problem,’ or the elephant in the office, we begin the process of bringing about solutions.

Ironically, in the end, we discover that the biggest problem we faced was not the issue – but the lack of courage displayed in dealing with it.

What storm are you ready to fly into today?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Research shows most people are not effective at delegating. “I’m hating delegating,” a reader mentioned. Besides her poetic efforts, she speaks on the behalf of thousands.

WHAT MIGHT BE

When delegating, most people create resistance. Imagine approaching someone and explaining, “In a moment I’m going to tell you to do something. When I do, agree to do it. Then, after I walk away, roll your eyes and say, ‘Whatever’!”

Sounds crazy, but the methods often employed in attempts to delegate are equally destructive. The result? People and teams are dismantled…and less work gets done.

“I’ve had a belief system that delegating work to others is like dumping it on them,” said a smart executive. Raise your hand if you like having work dumped on you?

WHAT CAN BE

Yet, delegating is crucial if organizations are to thrive. Here are five steps to delegating with integrity:

1. Ask for help. Sure, people are getting paid to work. But showing respect never backfires.
2. State clearly what must be done and why. Providing clarity and vision for others is a powerful motivator.
3. Ask a question to ensure alignment. Assuming they know how to do the job is a guarantee it won’t get done right.
4. Tell them what you are able to do because they are taking on the new task. If you don’t take this step people will assume you’re delegating so you can go fishing.
5. Provide feedback. Sincere, specific and selective words in your follow-up ensure better results in the future.

How you delegate determines whether you get a “whatever” with rolled eyes, or a “whatever I can do to help” response.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Imagine someone handing out money. He’d be so popular he’d be mobbed. Soon, he’d begin to long for a “moment alone,” and wonder “why can’t these people earn their own money”?

Do you know anyone who uses the same approach to leading others? They give and give, and the more they give, the more people expect – leaving everyone with less?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Too many people use the “advice dispenser” approach to leading others. Their conversations are filled with “what you need to do is…” and “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but if I were you I’d…” and “here’s a bit of free advice…”

However, the idea of free advice is an illusion; these same advice dispensers then spend the rest of their day lamenting that “people can’t think for themselves,” and “no one around me makes decisions,” and “I can’t get my own work done because I’m always helping other people.”

There is a cost to giving others advice: we become “the source.” As the source, we effectively train people NOT to think on their own, but to rely on us. This is wonderful for our ego, but terrible for results.

WHAT CAN BE

The next time you feel the urge to “tell” someone what to do, follow these three steps:

1. Grab the moment, pause, and realize you have a choice in your response.
2. Ask yourself, “How do I respond so that they become more capable as a result of this interaction?”
3. Ask them a question that inspires discovery and capability moving forward.

Is it possible that the reason some people are busier than they want to be is because they’ve effectively “disempowered” the people around them?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.