WHAT APPEARS TO BE

What are you going to dress up as this Halloween?

This week look for colleagues dressed as vampires, sucking the blood from their organization. They do this by stalking those who have what they want and biting them in the back. And look for zombies, the walking dead. These folks sit through meetings while in a coma – and then complain about how ‘dead’ their organization is. And keep an eye out for witches and wizards. They cast a spell on others with their caustic focus leaving others in a trance.

WHAT MIGHT BE

Some companies use the “Halloween Model” in their approach to business the entire year. Boorish and destructive behaviors are so commonplace that people don’t even have to wear their costumes. No mask is needed as low-road behaviors simply evoke low-road reactions.

Then, at this time of year, such companies’ peer into their candy bag to see what sort of treats the customer has provided – fearing all the while that they’ll discover a nasty trick. Like the dates etched in an old tombstone, the numbers tell the story: the customer is going elsewhere.

WHAT CAN BE

So this Halloween let’s dress up as a Superhero. No bulging muscles are needed. No cape or mask. Just these three props:

1. A heart strong enough to model the behavior you want to see in others.
2. The strength to pause – when tempted by anger or frustration – and choose a healthier way.
3. The vision to see what’s possible.

How haunted is your house? Never fear, a superhero – YOU – is here.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

That isn’t grass that’s greener on the other side of the fence. Look again: those are weeds.

Do you find yourself choked by overgrown chaos and too much fertilizing horse#$%*? If so, the green grass beyond can sure look inviting. Until you take a closer look…

…and realize the ‘green’ isn’t money, but more envy; and the fence is barbed wire, ready to rip another hole in your soul.

WHAT MIGHT BE

“It’s going to be one of those days,” is the mantra of those with self-imposed handicaps; the moment they utter their epitaph, their fate is sealed: it’s surely going to be one more of those days.

Why? Because we can only focus on one thing at a time. And because we’re focused on the weeds, that’s all we can see: more weeds.

WHAT CAN BE

Is it possible that it’s not the job that sucks, but our perspective of the job that’s playing the dirty trick? What happens if it’s not the job that’s overgrown us, but the seeds of our focus that have left us withering?

“I love my new job!” exclaims a friend. (The same friend who uttered identical words the first day at her previous job.) She’d be wise to master these steps:

1. Identify the top three reasons why she loves her job.
2. Commit to focusing on those three reasons daily.
3. Routinely take steps to weeding the garden she’s in.

How about you? Is it looking green out yonder? Before jumping the fence ask yourself: what am I focusing on?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Quick. Cover your computer screen, lest your boss read this. And heaven-forbid, don’t read out loud: your customer is not #1.

I repeat: your customer is not #1. (It’s hearsay, isn’t it?)

WHAT MIGHT BE

Training after training, number-minded bosses have trained the staff to think that “service to the customer” is the priority. And so the cooks throw knives at each other, put a fork in each other’s back, and hide the dough to get the job done…leaving the company to “make nice” as the waiter serves the client.

Excuse me, but there’s a hair in my soup.

Flight attendants remind us to “put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others” for a good reason: because if you don’t take care of yourself you’ll pass out before you can help anyone else.

Do you know any companies that are passing out before they ever serve the customer?

WHAT CAN BE

Mr. Kells, a leader in Denver whose region regularly hits their numbers, knows a better way. “It’s crazy to think you can sustain your efforts for others if you don’t take care of yourself. And it’s much more than morale. When I’m excited about getting up and going to work, the customer can feel it.”

Is your organization a professional team or the Harlem Globetrotters? Are you working to win the customer or just entertain them? If you’re in the game to win, you’d better be at your best. And if you’re going to be at your best, you’d better be healthy.

How healthy is your team? (Translation: how many people are excited about coming to work?)

Have you checked your team’s pulse lately?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

An eight-year-old neighbor recently explained to my daughter, “Your yesterday is not over.” She was attempting to convey the message that she was still upset about something that happened earlier.

Are your yesterdays over?

WHAT MIGHT BE

How many people sit in meetings and refuse to act like adults because another person in the meeting “hurt” them yesterday? In other words, they choose not to move forward because if they do, it would appear they are forgiving and forgetting the crime to which they were unjustly subjected?

Talk about enduring a self-imposed sentence. Not accepting what happened yesterday is like demanding that the chair you’re sitting in become a Harley Davidson.

That’s a sure sign of insanity. Yet, how many people around you are wasting energy wishing something was different than it already is?

WHAT CAN BE

What happens when you let go of the demand that people and circumstances be different than they are right now? As one participant in our recent training said, “The moment you do this, you can go about the business of doing something about it. It all starts with where you’re putting your focus and energy.”

Let’s face it: the chances that anyone reading this blog has “time to spare” during the average day is slim. Knowing this, how much time would you save if you accepted what already is? How much more will you get done when you are no longer resisting what already is?

What will show up today when you let yesterday end?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

This is the era of the “super-size me” approach to business. One of you won’t do. Your company needs two.

This is a time when companies are looking for the quickest way to build stock price. There are many gimmicks those on the top floor can use to achieve this – yet research shows those companies who SUSTAIN greatness do it because they are filled with leaders who lead people, not just manage numbers.

WHAT MIGHT BE

The “lead by numbers” approach means “do more with less.” Which means we have finally solved the fast-food mystery: people are super-sizing their meals not because they are hungry; they’re up-sizing in an effort to super-size themselves. They’re hungry for a way to be super.

WHAT CAN BE

Here’s the paradox: people want to be great. People are naturally motivated and inspired. They ALREADY come to work in a super size – a size that is more than enough to get the numbers the top floor wants. Yet, too many companies are using this approach: they’re tearing people down, and then racing to see who can build up their people first.

News flash: only one of you is needed.

(Don’t believe other people want to be great? Look at yourself. A bit pretentious, isn’t it: to think you’re the only one who has this desire?)

Let’s begin something by taking control again. Let’s live in our own, pure motivations. Let’s promise ourselves that we’ll never forget – and daily tap into – our own desire to be great. And then act out of that greatness.

Who cares if those on the top floor make more money than we do. We’ll get something that no one should be without: self-worth and dignity…and the regular size combo meal.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

To tell the truth – or not? In a court of law, if you don’t tell the truth, “you will pay the bill – the big bill,” my friend, Eziquiel, says.

When decisions are being made, when the ‘big boss’ has their own agenda, are you willing to tell the truth? And what price do you have to pay when you don’t tell the truth?

What percentage of people do tell the truth in the workplace?

Here is the common lie…

WHAT MIGHT BE

“We can’t tell the truth here, because if you do, you will be haunted by your words,” shares one reader. Yet, as this person confesses, after not telling the truth, they then spend precious time lamenting to others the conditions they must endure, the circumstances they must work in, and the “what if” strategy of execution. In other words, they’re miserable.

This approach is illogical. And it’s worse than not telling the truth.

WHAT CAN BE

Here is the “Truth Telling Paradox”: If I tell the truth, there are potential consequences. If I don’t tell the truth, I live daily with consequences.

Isn’t it ironic? The consequences we create for ourselves are nearly as terrible as the consequences we imagine we’d have to endure if we told the truth. In addition, consider that we have not earned the right to complain about workplace injustices if we have not done anything about them – if we have not told the truth. If we don’t speak up and tell the truth we are agreeing with what’s being said.

It was Twain who said, “Always tell the truth; then you don’t have to remember anything.” Given all the things my work requires of me, telling the truth sounds like a bargain.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

A friend, Bob, has worked his butt off for his company 33 years. Now he’s working harder – and longer – than ever before. There’s persistent pressure to work long after the sun has gone down.

“I’ve told my wife I have a jealous mistress,” says Bob. “And her name is (Bob’s company), Inc.”

In the old days, when a man came home late, the neighborhood might think there’s some hanky-panky going on. What does the neighborhood think now – given so many are coming home late?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Actions speak louder than words. When I spend too much time with my mistress, when I put in extra hours at work, it’s not the hours away that challenge my wife…it’s what it communicates to her and the children.

What are my priorities?

WHAT CAN BE

A key comes in remembering this: every family wants to be the number one priority in the heart of the breadwinner. And what the company wants is to be number one in the market place. How do we give both parties what they want?

In order for the company to get my best, so it can be the best, I have to be at my best. And I am at my best when my actions are aligned with my values.

Here are four steps to align actions with values:

1. What are my top three priorities today?
2. What five actions will I take to deliver on those priorities?
3. What will I verbally communicate to others (family and work) in advance and during those actions?

And at the end of the day, 4) Where did I succeed? And what will I do better tomorrow?

Which step can you do better at? What suggestions do you have for others so that the neighborhood doesn’t whisper when they drive home at night?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

To learn another quick, easy, and powerful set of questions that will help you transition between work and home, click here.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

There’s something going on in too many offices. (It may be right behind you.) The “something” is big and toxic. And it’s killing results and the satisfaction we get from our jobs.

There’s an elephant in your office. Do you have the skills to do something about it? 

WHAT MIGHT BE

What is the elephant in the office? The destructive behaviors that no one does anything about. How much of your heart and soul does the elephant in your office devour when your alarm goes off and you dread the day ahead? When you realize that “CYA” is the real office priority? And your family gets your leftovers at the end of the day?

WHAT CAN BE

Those amongst us who are making a difference are in the elephant removal business. They’re using specific tools and strategies – the best of what our organization, Pathways to Leadership Inc., offers – to put an end to the toxic workplace, get more done, and be excited about work again.

Over the years repeated requests have been made to have our leadership tools in print. It’s now here. Stomp the Elephant in the Office (Wister and Willows, 2008) reveals what leaders around the world are doing to create elephant-free workplaces. The same hard-hitting, quick-to-read, packed-with-value style you appreciate in this blog is the same you’ll find in Stomp the Elephant in the Office.

We want to honor our partners who use this blog by including you in the pre-publication special. Through December 1, 2008, you can find a healthy discount from the purchase price at www.pathwaystoleadership.com.

With accolades from Stephen R. Covey and others, we’re looking forward to hearing from you! What are your greatest elephant-busting stories? Also, if you’re tired of loved ones complaining about their job, get them a copy of the book as well. Let’s spread the news. The expanding world of “wellness leadership” welcomes all our contributions.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

The other day my wife and I were sharing a laugh. My three year old didn’t think it was funny. So she picked up her Princess TV remote, pointed it at me, and said, “Daddy, I pause you.”

Have you ever been paused before?

WHAT MIGHT BE

How often do I go through a day ignoring the authentic feedback I am receiving? Clearly, what my daughter was trying to say was, “Daddy, don’t tease my mom.”

How many times have I tried to lead a meeting, lamenting those who are disengaged, instead of hearing what people were really trying to tell me: your meetings suck.

How many times have people not delivered results, and I wish we had different hiring practices, when in reality what they’re trying to tell me is: you need to become a better leader.

What percentage of people do you believe are attentive to the feedback they are receiving throughout a day?

WHAT CAN BE

The strength of our awareness – our proficiency at deciphering what people are really trying to say – determines how far we will go in life and the quality of our journey. Most of us have a built in “ego-protector” which deflects criticism outwardly. There are some amongst us who have a different approach.

Today, when results fall short, take the following steps:

1. Point the remote control at yourself and press pause.
2. Ask yourself, “What role did I have in this outcome?”
3. Ask, “If I were to assume full responsibility, what would my actions be moving forward?”

We are the directors of the actions we take in this movie called life. There’s no more waiting for a daughter to say, “Daddy, I pause you.”

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.