My Wife Is Right
WHAT APPEARS TO BE
My wife came up with the title above. Which, of course, means she’s right…and which provides me with an age-old reminder, and one that always proves valuable.
Am I more interested in being “right” than I am in moving things forward? Than having harmonious relationships with others? Than creating the synergies with others that will propel us to future success?
WHAT MIGHT BE
Too often my ego demands that I inform others that I’m the smartest person in the room. This “inform”-ation manifests itself in my talking too much; in selling my ideas to others (because, of course, my ideas are brilliant); in getting defensive when someone disagrees with me; in claiming ownership of every successful scheme that exists; and whispering “see, I told you so” when a plan fails.
Is it possible that when I impose my will on others it reveals my incompetence as a leader?
WHAT CAN BE
A friend vows that in ’08 he’ll keep his mouth shut more often in meetings. He’s one of the most talented individuals I know. He’s not keeping his mouth shut so as to withhold information; he’s shutting up so he can lead more effectively.
I have another friend who carries a cork in his pocket. It’s a reminder that his words are not like wine: they don’t get better with time. Quantity is not quality.
That’s why, when my wife and I travel, I’m letting her drive. Who cares if she chooses a different lane than I would, we take a different route, or she doesn’t shift gears when I would. I’m more interested in our healthy relationship than being the only driver in the family.
Who’s the driver when you’re around? And where are you driving people?
What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.
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January 11th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
This is the best!
You know, I just got back from a client visit that had all the possibilites of a contentious meeting. And I had already added some fuel to the fire before we got there. It started perfectly fine. Then, when a moment that “in my mind” was about to go south, I did something extraordinary for me - nothing. I sat there and didn’t say a word, bat an eye, twitch or nothing. For me (and probably everyone else) it was the best moment of the meeting. I really thought doing nothing was going to be something too hard to do. But I found that doing nothing is pretty easy to do. I’m thinking about incorporating more “doing nothings” into my everyday duties.
January 14th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Mike! What a terrific example of leadership in action. And I love your honesty. In one note you demonstrated what’s necessary for anyone to truly deliver greater results.
Thanks for standing with the Tall Guys!