ELEPHANT ALERT!

A participant once shared, “I’m a high road person. But once in a while you’ve got to vent and take the low road.” The other twenty people in the room nodded in agreement. But one person didn’t. She saw it – and understood.

Here’s the elephant in the office: It’s a myth that venting and poor behavior is ever excusable. Why? Because the sum of our “it’s-only-once-in-a-while” behaviors equates to the culture we must all function in. When you and you and you and you and you and you are allowed to take the low road “every once in a while”…we end up with a toxic culture.

Sadly, a toxic culture breeds even more “once-in-a-while” behaviors.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

What are your expectations for your workplace culture? Should it be a place where people are allowed to be who they want to be (great)? Should it nurture forward-focus thinking? And do you expect others to function in a high road way, so as to contribute to a healthy culture?

If so, what is your contribution to your culture? The average amongst us rationalizes our poor behavior. “You don’t understand my situation,” they say. Or, “You don’t work for my boss.”

Ironic isn’t it? Some expect others to be flawless while they rationalize their own poor behavior.  Such an illogical approach only ensures we perpetuate the very thing we despise.

You are either contributing to a toxic culture or a healthy culture. There’s no in between; there’s no room for “once-in-a-while” behaviors.

How badly do you want to work in a great culture? Are you willing to eliminate your “once-in-a-while” behaviors?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

A lot of people concur with others. “Amen!” they shout to verbalize their agreement. “We’re on the same page,” they seem to say.

This is a good thing; aligned organizations make amazing things happen. Yet, what’s the first step in getting ourselves aligned? Answer: Someone needs to speak up.

Here’s the elephant in the office: The workplace is filled with inexcusable behaviors. Too many people are tolerating these actions without saying a word…while waiting for someone else to stand up and say, “We can do better.”

It’s amazing: once someone does stand up and address the elephant people come from everywhere to say “Amen brother!”

Do you have the courage to speak up when no one else will? Or do you suffer from amen affliction?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Most people won’t speak up when they see poor behavior around them because they fear the ramifications. Will I be outcast? Will there be retribution? These are real concerns. Yet, what are we suffering when we don’t speak up? What’s the cost to our personal well-being, our family’s joy and business results when we allow toxic attitudes to continue?

Today it can be different. Today we can speak up and address what it is we want to see improve. Here’s the key to doing this: there’s a big difference between stomping people and stomping behaviors. When we address unacceptable actions with a desire to serve even the person who is demonstrating the boorish behavior – when we share what’s important and why – then we tap into a shared value: the desire to see everyone prosper.

What poor behaviors around you are ready to be stomped? You’re being called.

Amen!

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

“I don’t want to sound negative,” says a colleague. (Before he says it, you know what’s coming.) “But I hate the way…” And of course, they then continue with a backward focus.

This is similar to the email that says: “I don’t usually forward these…but I couldn’t resist…” And sure enough, you open some sappy or comical or data-filled communication that takes your focus from the task at hand.

Or another favorite: “I know I shouldn’t eat this, but I worked hard today…”

Here’s the elephant in the office: “But”-heads are everywhere. These are the individuals who

1. Articulate a standard or community value, and then
2. Rationalize why they don’t have to live up to those expectations. The word “but” signals the end of accountability.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Without accountability progress is impossible. This means it’s time to end the but-head approach.

First, change begins with you. Take this challenge: wipe the word “but” from your language for one week. Watch how your willpower grows. Watch how people come to you with more diverse ideas – and how their respect for you grows. And watch how you begin to get more done.

Second, when you find someone being a but-head, help them return to their values. These are the words they uttered before “but” slipped out. Ask them a question, such as:

• Why is it that you’re not usually negative?
• Why do you prefer not to send those types of emails?
• What do you normally eat?

There’s a lot at stake. If this elephant isn’t stomped we may someday hear, “I was going to be successful, but I became a but-head.”

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

When I was growing up my dad forbid us say “shut up” to anyone. So I had to get crafty. I had to find illusory ways to get others to stop talking. A few years ago I realized I had perfected the method.

To get those around you to shut up:

1. Pile your ideas on top of their ideas;
2. Respond to their comments with “However” or “But” at the beginning of your sentence;
3. Ignore their opinions; and
4. Make sure you have the last word.

Here’s the elephant in the office: A lot of managers are pleading for their teams to be more engaged…and yet every day they tell them to shut up.

Do you see this elephant anywhere? Do you know a parent who complains “My teenage child won’t talk to me”?  Do you know a boss who has to do all the thinking because everyone else has been trained not to?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

My friend John P. from Ohio says, “What you DO is more profound than what you TELL someone to do.” The best leaders use their ACTIONS to create ownership in others. One of the most powerful things we can do is examine how we respond when others are talking.

Take this challenge. Over the next two weeks as you’re listening to others:

1. Let their ideas stand alone – free from your ideas;
2. Create alignment by eliminating “however” and “but” from your responses;
3. Incorporate their ideas in future conversations and plans; and
4. Let them have the last word. (You can wrap it up with a “thank you.”)

Dad was right. Telling others to shut up is destructive.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

In college a professor informed me “You’ll never amount to much.” Ouch. Let’s say he wasn’t fond of my approach to life. The experience left me reeling.

Enter Professor P. Without extra pay or recognition, she agreed to tutor me, to inherit the professor role for a class that wasn’t hers. Today, I can’t remember the course subject, but I do remember the lesson: I CAN amount to something. What would have happened if Professor P hadn’t stepped in?

Do you know people who want to make a difference…but have a belief that they can only do so at church, as a volunteer or with their family? They go through their life waiting to make a difference.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most people are forfeiting countless hours at work with the idea that those moments are destined to be empty of value. This approach is flawed. We spend most of our time at work; therefore, the equation is simple: we can make a tremendous difference at work. 

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Professor P. didn’t know it was a seminal moment in my life. She simply saw someone in need and responded. If she HAD been looking for seminal moments she would have missed me. And I would have missed me, too.

How about you? Do you treat your hours at work as the greatest platform you have to serve others? Do you interact with others at a level where you make a difference in their life? When I’m not doing this I ask myself, “What am I waiting for?” And my silly answer is: the right opportunity.

And then I laugh – because an opportunity presents itself each time I have contact with someone else.

Thanks for the lesson, Professor P.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

This weekend my brother asked “How did you feel about the poor rating on the blog? Someone evaluated with just one star.”

I was stunned. I didn’t know what to think. We receive so much positive feedback. Where did we slip up? I wondered.

My mom overheard us and entered the conversation like a child who just broke a vase. “Um, how do you give the blog a rating?” she asked. “The other day I attempted to give you high marks…and I accidently sent in a ‘one-star’ rating.”

My mom doesn’t like me.

Here’s the elephant in the office: There’s a lot of people who quit going for it in life – because they misinterpret the feedback they receive. Some people interpret responses from others to mean they’re supposed to quit. Achievers hear what they can do better.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

How autonomous are you? When someone gives you just ‘one star’ do you crumble? Do you quit moving forward in your life because someone with different experiences, different perspectives and values has stated, “You’re doing it wrong”?

Or are you one of the rare elephant stompers who…

1. …knows the only assessment of who you are that matters is the belief you have about yourself.
2. …seeks feedback. Where can we get better?
3. …knows that one idea is just one drop. It’s not the river.
4. …is grateful for the information. The world is telling us how to move forward – if we’ll only listen.
5. …stretches and applies their newly discovered wisdom. If we’re not doing something new, we’re doing something we did yesterday.

How do you respond to what the world – even your mom – is telling you?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Things just aren’t working out for some people, are they? They’ve got problems with their boss. They’ve got problems with their job. They’ve got problems with traffic and weather and a spouse and colleagues who don’t have a clue and – what the heck – let’s throw in the finance department, too.

Let’s face it: life is a problem.

Or is it these people that have the problem?

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many people are sacrificing their happiness until things become perfect.

“But I want things to be better!” they lament. Yet, how many days are they willing to invest in being unhappy before things become perfect?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

The idea of forgetting about perfection and striving for extraordinary holds great power. But what if you could go further than that? What would it mean to your life satisfaction if you were released from disappointments – permanently?

It begins with: relishing the mundane. Life (yes, even work), in and of itself, is extraordinary. Yet, we’ve become addicted to the rush, the excitement, the myth of perfection. This has left "all the rest of life" to be labeled as mundane. And that’s exactly what the marketers (and abusive managers) want us to think – that day-to-day life can’t be extraordinary just as it is.

And it continues with: discontinuing the futile strategy of changing people. If our happiness is dependent on another person behaving differently – we’re screwed. It’s completely illogical, and a form of self-abuse, to sacrifice our own happiness waiting for others to sprout angel wings.

Ironic, isn’t it? The moment we stop demanding others to be different than they are, we grow our own wings.

Are you ready to be happy?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Recently, we asked a group “What percentage of people work in a place that detracts from the value of their life?” The answer: nearly 90%. As they say in Wisconsin: holy cow!

If you think this is despicable, and shouldn’t be tolerated, we agree.

It’s clear: Because of toxic cultures, because people are not allowed to express themselves, because employees rarely bond with their peers, all too often individuals find work subtracts rather than adds to their life.

A man named Tim told us, “I’m grateful for the income and benefits. But to be invigorated by my job, to think my job could add fuel to my life…I don’t think it’s even been considered.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many people are settling for being paid to ‘give away’ hours of their lives.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Doing anything that doesn’t add value to your life doesn’t make sense. Done too long, the toll is immeasurable. Now, imagine going to work each day knowing your job will profoundly enhance your life.

What are the people doing who ensure their jobs do this for them? In nearly every case such people are what we call ‘drivers.’ Rather than being ‘riders’ at work – where they live at the mercy of other people’s conduct and simply try to get by – drivers seek to influence in a healthy way. Here’s how:

• During interactions with others they seek to serve;
• Through challenges they seek the lessons to be learned;
• And they seek as much success for others as they do themselves.

Want to go higher? Consider what’s possible as you develop a team of drivers around you.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

First, a note: We’re celebrating our first year of The Tall Guy’s blog! The success and impact of this “one- minute wonder” has exceeded our hopes. Thank you for your role in communicating your ideas and successes, and for sharing the blog with others.

To celebrate we’re raising the bar! We hope you’ll enjoy the new format as we zero in on what you can do to create greater results.

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Do you know some people and teams who can’t discuss their past? While working with a company in the Midwest, someone referred to “those two years we had so-and-so as a CEO.” Another person quickly added, “Yeah, but we don’t talk about that here.”

That’s a big, ugly elephant in the office – one that is severely limiting their success. How crazy is it working in a place where you can’t talk about something? Where you can’t tell the truth? How productive can one be when they have to censor their words – and thus edit or eliminate their ideas?

This sort of behavior has to stop.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

People allow elephants to destroy results in their office because they’ve learned something wrong: addressing elephants causes discomfort and pain.

Consider what effective leaders know: stomping elephants isn’t painful – it’s how you address them that is key. Teams can talk about the tough issues – the past – without destroying people and relationships. It just takes leadership.

The organization above is throwing away two years of experience (is there a greater resource?), because they lack the leadership to stomp the elephant. Imagine if they asked these and similar questions:

• What are the experiences during that period that need to be discussed?
• What are the lessons we need to retain moving forward?
• How has our past made us better today?
• What can we do so that people are grateful for past experiences?

Not talking about the tough issues has gone on long enough. Let’s stomp some elephants and get some work done.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

The term “April Fool” originates back to when the world was settling on which calendar to use. Some believed that April 1st marked the new year. Those who disagreed identified such people as “April Fools.”

Times were changing; either you were a fool – or you changed.

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Do you know anyone who is dragging their feet while entering the 21st century way of leading? Such people still believe you can force, demand and manipulate people into being productive.

The result: companies struggle for profits as they try to manage a workforce that is disgruntled and doesn’t care. Even a village idiot can do that math; the answer will come when leadership evolves.

The biggest elephant in the office is the leadership culture that pervades so many companies. Today is national Leadership Fools Day.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Labeling managers as leadership fools won’t help. That will only assure there’s at least one fool in the room – us. So what does work?

Leadership fools are hypnotized by the ‘results’ medallion swinging in front of them. We all must help them realize that this medallion turns to gold when we are more concerned about HOW results are delivered. This means it’s time to talk about behaviors.

Most of us aren’t about to walk into the boss’s office and talk about behaviors. So here are three things we can do:

1. Acknowledge when we see desired leadership behaviors – instead of when we don’t. Everyone goes toward their focus; this becomes a new swinging medallion.
2. Participate in conversations about what behaviors are important to us – instead of those that aren’t. Most people talk about what they don’t want; thus, they are at a disadvantage.
3. Celebrate the characteristics of your company identity of which you are proud.

Bottom line: OUR leadership has to change before we can change anyone else. Or, are you a fool?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?