ELEPHANT ALERT!

I’m sorry. That’s what I’d tell the elderly woman who glanced at her boarding pass, then grimaced at the shuttle – which I was on. She moved hesitantly toward the door. She wasn’t going to make it. The door began to close. It nearly shut on her. With what looked like tears, she backed up.

If I had put my arm out, the door would have re-opened for her. But I hadn’t. Instead, I stood there. And did nothing.

I put my head down; I was in a hurry to deliver a training on how to make a difference in the workplace.

Here’s the elephant in the office: There are people who think a stage is necessary to make a difference. Yet, the idea that making a difference requires an event, such as church or a day of volunteering, robs humanity – us – of revealing our greatest heritage.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

I can assure you your disappointment in me does not eclipse my own. Four years later I remember that woman’s face – and the promise I made when those doors shut: forever more the airport would be my personal “make a difference” arena.

Airports used to be my “get-through-it-as-painlessly-as-you-can” place. But it’s different now. I relax (yet I’m never late). And I seek opportunities to serve – which are never in short supply. Women carrying their infant children, a car seat and two bags; angry customers who are transformed by a “is there anything I can do?”…they are everywhere.

Ironically, I remain selfish: In the end, the greatest gift is mine. By seeking to make a difference my travel experience is dramatically enhanced. And so is my work.

And I wonder: does it take an airport?

Where will you fly today?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

What are you doing when no one is looking? Is your character intact?

An employee of a world-wide organization spoke to an audience about his company’s CFO. “I saw Ed do something that significantly elevated my respect for him. I was about to leave the men’s room when I saw Ed at the sink. He’d just finished washing his hands. And then you know what he did? He grabbed a towel and wiped off the counter. He was cleaning the bathroom! How many CFO’s do you know do that?

“It showed me in an instant how much he cared about our company. And as a result, I care more, too.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: A lot of bosses attempt to scheme their way to respect. They use rhetoric and grandiose gestures to communicate how much they care. They rely on pompous, rehearsed acts to “model” what they think leadership looks like. And then when the spotlight is no longer on them, they slip to someone else.

This leaves their credibility slithering across the floor; and a disenfranchised workforce mumbling, “Get real.”

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Ed reminds us that we follow leaders not because of what they say or do, but because of who we believe they are. And when “who they are” is virtuous, significant things happen.

Are your values important enough to live them all the time?

It’s true: “Good guys finish last.” And be assured that “good guys finish first” is equally true. As the number of those who consistently live out of their values grows – and it is growing – the world is assured of brighter days.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

My father has dementia. One moment he speaks with clarity about the presidential election; the next, he recounts how a doctor chased him with a scalpel.

And I sit and love him. And I smile. And I know we’re okay.

I feel this way because years ago my business partner, Steve, coached me on celebrating the relationship I have with my father as often as I could. So postcards with weekly thoughts were sent; and Saturday phone calls were made with ideas and questions.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many teams and families operate with a false, unspoken rule that we’re supposed to delay celebrating our relationships with others. Somehow our society got it wrong. For instance, we wait until a person retires – and then we buy them a gold watch and tell them how much we appreciate them…after which they leave.

Why wait?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Most of us don’t walk up to another and say, “I appreciate you.” But we don’t have to say these things, do we? We can simply:

• Smile;
• Say thank you;
• Honor their ideas;
• Listen to them;
• Give them responsibilities;
• And tell them what they’re doing well.

Relationships, whether they’re personal or professional, always have one common, fundamental characteristic. Inside all of us is a heart that longs for the same thing: to know we matter.

Who needs to hear from you today?

My father’s understanding of what is and isn’t – his window – is closing. Soon, we’ll no longer understand each other’s words. Yet there’s no urgency to make up for anything. There’s only gratitude for a life of celebrations. And there’s grace.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Would you rather win or lose? Logically, most people would choose to win. Yet, surprisingly, many people play the game of life to lose.

Here’s the elephant in the office: In an effort to improve perceived weaknesses, we “compare our weaknesses to other people’s strengths,” shares an honest Mike Heidt. The result? “You lose every time.”

Countless people are playing the game backward: trying to get themselves (and others) to win by claiming they’re losers. When you feel like a loser, how long and hard do you work to improve?

Competition is a part of our market system; your organization must win more than it loses. Yet cutting a team’s strength in half by dividing it in two – winners and losers – before it enters competition is insane. Whether as a team or by yourself, how often can you beat your competition with one arm tied behind your back? 

Ultimately, then, how do we improve?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Three facts that ensure we will improve:

• Fact #1: Confidence is the necessary ingredient for improvement.
• Fact #2: Confidence is derived from the belief that something can be achieved.
• Fact #3: Focusing on where we are succeeding – rather than where we’re not – creates the belief that something can be achieved.

This is not about false praise or a disregard for unmet objectives; this is understanding that results must be achieved. What’s necessary to move forward is not focusing on what we lack in comparison to others – this only ensures that the gap remains. The answer lies in focusing on what we are doing well.

Will you win or lose today? Consider the possibility that by mastering your focus you can guarantee a win.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

In engineering, manufacturing and other places, there is the 1-10-100 Rule. Essentially it means if a flaw is addressed in the engineering phase, it cost $1. If you address that same flaw in the manufacturing phase, the cost is now $10. And, you guessed it, if the flaw makes it to the customer, it’s one hundred times more expensive to resolve.

Could the same rule apply in your office? Before you go into your next meeting ask yourself, “What’s the cost if we only solve issues but don’t build better, more effective relationships?”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most leaders only talk about “teamwork” when they don’t have it. They conduct “business as usual” until cracks show up in their team, until there are breakdowns in trust, alignment and communication. The 1-10-100 Rule applies here; and that’s an expensive way to do business.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Fact: you are engineering relationships and your culture in every interaction of the day. The most effective leaders use the meetings they participate in to enhance the quality of their relationships, develop trust, and create alignment. This ensures that “flaws” don’t show up down the line.

This approach is easier than people think. Ultimately, it is achieved by focus. When we provide feedback to others that addresses desired behaviors, we generate more of those behaviors. This means focusing on effective teamwork when you have it rather than waiting until you don’t.

While it’s cost effective to engineer great relationships up front, the best leaders report this approach is the most personally satisfying as well.

Before your next meeting ask yourself: What behavior will I engineer that ensures flawless relationships moving forward?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

A reader shares: in a meeting a colleague cracked jokes regarding a stalled project they were working on. Another teammate then leaned forward and said, “It’s clear you’re anxious about this. I say we focus on resolving this rather than laughing about it.”

The comedian’s message was decoded: I’m nervous about being able to resolve this issue.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many offices tolerate ‘coded’ behaviors that communicate harmful messages. Because people aren’t willing or can’t directly communicate what’s important to them and why, they use codes – and create an unnecessary maze that must be navigated in the pursuit of progress.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Everyone is culpable of this. If your awareness and personal leadership isn’t strong, codes become common:

• Claiming “I already know that”…communicates other people’s ideas aren’t valid.
• Replying “yes, but”…says “I disagree with you.”
• When you say “whatever!”…you’re crying “I don’t have the skill to move this forward.”
• Fits of anger…reveal “I’m hurting and I don’t have the emotional intelligence to handle this in a healthier way.”
• A refusal to apologize…states “I have to prove that I’m right and you’re wrong.”
• When you lament another’s ignorance…you’re telling others “I’m insecure with my level of knowledge.”
• When receiving feedback and you defend yourself…you’re confessing you’re not capable and are arguing for your limitations.

Nothing above is new – in terms of understanding. What is new is doing something about it. Take this challenge: print this list and have a “stomp the elephant” conversation with your team – with the focus on how you can communicate what you want and why, so you can move forward faster.

Today, create a code-free office.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Holy-constricting-economy, Batman! Things are getting tough out there. Time to limit spending; time to pull resources; time to…get scared!

What? Get scared?

Here’s the elephant in the office: Many bosses think leadership means pointing at the obstacles that lie in the path of their team. Because we go toward our focus, pointing out concerns and hazards is an act of self-sabotage – and everyone suffers.

When managers say, “Times are tough,” or “It’s getting bad,” the inevitable happens: times get tough! Fear mounts; people get selfish; and production dives.

This isn’t about ignoring the facts. This is about how we lead because of the facts. It’s the leader’s job to guide their team around and beyond obstacles – not into them.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Three actions that provide your company recession repellent:

1. Develop confidence around you. Ask questions such as, “What qualities do we possess that prove we are capable?” and “What image do we want to project right now?” and “What can we do to be at our best?”
2. Celebrate and leverage best practices. Your competition is focusing on their problems – which means they can’t focus on solutions. So they become desperate! Give yourself an advantage: celebrate the victories within your business – and then inspire creativity by asking, “How can we increase the value we provide our clients?” etc.
3. Research shows the best companies find ways to support their teams more during difficult times. Ironically, most companies pull resources – making the job even tougher for employees. How can you increase your support for those around you?

Fear dismantles any effort to move forward. The opportunities to succeed are as numerous as they have been in the past. The only change is the face of those opportunities. Will your team be able to recognize those opportunities?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

My wife and I recently returned from some work in Aruba. Splendid! Joy! Incredible! The trip exceeded all expectations…and then: during a lay-over in Miami, I splurged and bought one of those double-mocha-frappa-latta-venti-foofoo drinks. The perfect way to wrap up the trip.

Needing to use the restroom, I set my drink next to my wife and our carry-on luggage. Gone just a few minutes, I returned…to find my drink gone!

My wife, engrossed in a novel, was equally surprised. Immediately we found the culprit: just feet away the custodian was pushing his waste basket – with my drink at the bottom.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many people have incredible jobs, work with amazing people, earn stunning incomes – and they still take the double-mocha-frappa plunge.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

I don’t purchase expensive drinks often. I had a right to be angry – right? I stewed. I mumbled. My spirits plunged…until I woke up and did a cost-benefit analysis. Was I willing to throw away all that was experienced and gained on this trip in exchange for being angry over a stolen coffee?

As a friend told me later, “Here’s five bucks. Get over it.”

What small, stupid error has someone else committed that is robbing you of the satisfaction you deserve? Is your anger and the “I-will-never-forget” attitude paying you a high dividend?

If you could put a price tag on what it’s costing you to carry a grudge or to resent someone else, what would the cost be? And what would be the benefit of letting it go?

When we stomp the elephants in our life we can move ourselves to the “benefit column” any time we want to.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?