Did you hear they are considering a new competition for future Olympics? This sport – one that occurs in offices around the world – has become so fashionable that the Olympic Committee can no longer refute its popularity: Communication Competition.

Colossal communication collapses take place every day due to one primary reason: People enter into conversations with the objective of winning, as if the person they are communicating with is their opponent. Communications become a sport – and quite dysfunctional – as participants in dialogues place an extra effort on proving they are superior.

Here are the tell-tale signs of communication competition:

1. When one person is more interested in proving the other wrong…rather than working together to evolve a mutually identified idea.
2. When people have a tone or use words that communicate to others “You’re an idiot”…rather than operating with the wisdom that no perspective (even their own) is ever complete.
3. When the mantra of “the customer is first” means we must bludgeon each other with commands…versus ensuring we are serving each other and making our team stronger – so that we can serve the customer in extraordinary ways.
4. When we fool ourselves by sending emails thinking the electronic format provides a defense from which we can fire missiles…rather than picking up the phone or walking down the hallway to demonstrate our maturity.
5. When we split the room in two while arguing with one-another by using words like “I disagree/agree”…instead of using words like, “from our perspective,” or “let’s continue to explore this thought,” to debate an idea and achieve alignment.

When you communicate, what are you saying about yourself? What are you telling others is your highest priority?

Wellness Culture leaders, those who lead high-performing workplaces, are only interested in winning as an organization. Their words and emails consistently inform the team: We want the same thing – success. Therefore, communications need not be competitions, but the primary vehicle to move people and results forward faster.

Vannoy and Ross

Do you know anyone who proudly exclaims, “You’ll never wonder what I’m trying to say, because I like to tell it like it is.” After hearing such claims, do you cringe and find yourself scratching your head, hoping for the day your tell-it-like-it-is friend gets wiser?

Consider the young football player. In high school you can be an incredible success – perhaps even all-conference – if you just hit hard. But if you want to make the team at the college level, where everyone hits hard, then you have to add technique to your game.

And if you want to play professionally some day? Then, you have to hit hard, demonstrate flawless technique and you have to play smart.

In other words, simply hitting hard isn’t enough. In fact, such a narrow-minded approach is not even close to being effective, let alone professional.

Why are so many tell-it-like-it-is people hard to work with? It’s like a roulette table as it’s always a gamble: You never know what you’re going to get. Are they going to tell it like it is…and leave a trail of destruction that hurts people, relationships and results? Where no one is inspired to share innovative ideas? Where confidence is bludgeoned?

Or, can the tell-it-like-it-is person also demonstrate a style and show they’re smart enough…so when they speak they develop:

• Better ideas than their own
• The people around them
• Relationships with others in the room
• Greater confidence in the plan being created
• And improved performance and results?

Our friend, Susan, inspired this: When someone says “I tell it like it is,” consider that we should respond: Let me tell you like it is: It is vital that when you share your perspective you do it in a way that moves thoughts, people and results forward.

What style and smarts will you model as you tell it like it is?

Leaders everywhere are begging for higher performance from their teams. And yet, would it surprise you to learn that many leaders are sabotaging their team’s performance with their current methods?

Somewhere, somehow, bosses learned that in an effort to get people to improve they should: 1) Point out what others are doing wrong, and 2) Provide specific feedback only in the annual performance review.

It’s crazy: Imagine you are a parent: How much sense would it make if you only provided your children feedback once a year? And, when you did provide them such information you focused on everything they were doing wrong.

What would you expect for behavior from children exposed to such an approach? Would you volunteer to babysit them?

The brain is a brain, whether it’s in a child or an adult. This means you can guarantee: It goes towards its focus. This is why legendary football coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant, would rarely stop the game film when his players were making mistakes. He reasoned: Why program their minds to reinforce what you don’t want to have happen? Instead, his players could count on watching (and watching again) those moments when their performance was strong.

Additionally, timely feedback is crucial. “In the moment” feedback propels performance forward immediately. For example, “John, by delivering the project today instead of tomorrow, you put us on a pace to hit our Q1 target. Thank you.”

When feedback is sincere (your mean it), specific (focused on the details of excellence), and selective (timely), every day is filled with powerful performance enhancer moments. (From our book, Stomp the Elephant in the Office)

The question is: Are you willing to seize those moments…or do you just want to talk about it at the end of the year?

Fact: Being “positive” and being forward focused are two different things. Yet, it is alarming: when someone receives bad news, others will often attempt to assist those in need by encouraging them to “be positive.”

Depending on the state of mind of the person in need, those around him might be cautious; such a coaching approach is likely to backfire – and make matters worse. Why? Because there’s not a lot that is positive, for instance, about firing people, cutting budgets, and missing your child’s ball game because you have to meet with a client.

Most certainly, those who extend the “be positive” proclamation should not be blamed; they are attempting to help. And, consider that you can increase the awareness of such well-intended colleagues by assuring others understand how “being positive” falls short of living and leading in a forward focused manner.

By definition, being positive includes hope, and it has the essence of rhetoric. Forward focus is biased towards action, and has the essence of discipline – which results in greater hope for tomorrow. Being positive means being nice; alternatively, forward focus has, among other things, three important components. It means that in interactions you work to develop:

• the person,
• the relationship,
• and results.

Of course, in some interactions you may only achieve one of the three elements above. But any approach that does not consistently strive to accomplish all three cannot be sustained – and is disastrous in the long term.

The three components of being forward focused can have a positive effect. It can feel good. But, unlike “the positive approach,” the forward focus approach can also be used during “negative” events. In such situations, people don’t necessarily feel good, but they know what must be done to build people, relationships and results long term.

And that’s a good thing.

 Vannoy & Ross

It’s never been this bad. According to 22 years of polling by The Conference Board, job satisfaction has declined to 45%. And those who find their job interesting are a measly 51%. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34691428/ns/business-careers/from/ET

Ironically, in an era when bosses have to do more with less, when companies are scurrying to differentiate themselves… how effective can they be when half of their employees don’t care?

This situation is akin to a parent trying to get their teenager to do their homework on a Friday night. The parent demands, threatens, incentivizes – but the child just doesn’t want to be there. They’re not interested, yet they’re forced to deliver results.

There are a lot of variables when considering the causes for the poor numbers. Unquestionably, the employee is responsible. It’s up to you and your focus to determine whether you find anything interesting.

The distressing trend also proves that a “let management do the thinking – you do the working” mentality persists. Undoubtedly, there are organizations today who are taking advantage of the unemployment rate; who is going to leave their job when their neighbors are unemployed?

But this approach defies logic. Why would any leader pay someone a wage and then lead them in a manner where they get “homework on a Friday night” sorts of results?

This week, be a trend breaker. Regardless of your position, begin to make the workplace more interesting by doubling the amount of questions you ask. The allure of joining the chorus of those who want to spout their opinions is strong. (Visualize ten people in a meeting, all taking turns sharing how bad they think things are.)

Break the status quo by asking questions such as:

• What do you think we could do differently?
• If you could paint the perfect scenario here, what would it be?
• Why is it important for us to do our best here?

The mindset one chooses is dramatically affected by the environment around them.  Make that environment more interesting today.

Create Greater Confidence, Momentum and Focus – Right Now

Vannoy and Ross

My five-year-old daughter recently announced, “I know how to spell my friend’s name. We call him RJ.”

“How do you spell that, honey?”

With a big smile she lifted her chin and said, “R – J.”

You have to admire that sort of mastery. And we did! With cheers we celebrated her achievement. And do you know what happened next? She spent the rest of the day attempting to spell nearly every word she encountered.

Which provides us with an important reminder: Somewhere along the way most people begin expecting success – and therefore, they quit celebrating the wins. Thus, quite subtly, confidence begins to wane. Momentum begins to erode. And focus shifts more consistently to what’s not working, which ultimately results in one thing: fewer wins.

What would it be worth to you if, right now – today – you could build more confidence, forward momentum and stronger focus around you?

If this appeals, we challenge you to conduct the following experiment. Today, conduct three separate celebrations:

1. Identify one area where you are excelling. What is something you’ve been doing well lately, especially under trying circumstances? Give yourself some credit – and celebrate in your own way.
2. What is something the team around you is doing well? Shock your teammates and enhance the next meeting by pointing out something about the team that amazes or excites you. And then ask others what they believe is contributing to the successes that are evident.
3. Perhaps most importantly, on your drive home, identify one important quality you’re going to highlight with your family tonight – and then enjoy the difference this focus makes.

Life will throw my daughter tougher words to spell than R-J, but her strategy for success should never change.

Halloween is Over, Right? Beware the Lingering Leadership Ghosts

In the U.S., Halloween has come and gone. The masks and witch brooms are back in storage. Fright-night is over, right?

Not so fast. There are ghosts still floating wild and haunting teams across the land. Does your business require a ghost buster?

Spend casual time with the average employee…and listen closely…and you may just hear ghost stories. These chilling tales take various forms:

• In some companies, make a mistake, and you’re a villain forever. Like demon spirit, your reputation floats far in front of you and lingers after you’ve left the room. You could have the potential to be the most effective leader in the land…but people will never know it. Your ghost lives on, and your company pays the price: How ironic: We want people to improve, but we tie them to the past.
• Additionally, too many teams routinely tell ghost stories about events of the past. They sound like this: “Do you remember how bad that leader was…” And “One of the worst decisions we ever made was…” And “We never seem to have the time to do things right the first time, but we always have the time to do things twice…” Unwittingly, by retelling (and retelling, and retelling) the same scary stories people ensure that past mistakes continue to cost them countless more dollars far into the future.

Understanding the horrific moments in our past is not a mistake, but allowing leadership ghosts to linger, is costly. Conduct a ghost-busting exercise today by asking these questions:

1. What are the most important lessons we can gain from this experience?
2. How can we further leverage this moment as a resource?
3. If we continue to re-tell this story, how would it hurt progress?
4. Why is it important that we put this experience behind us?

The haunted house is closed. It’s time to move forward.

Are You the Michelangelo of Leadership? Take this Quiz

It is very clear: You need “breakthrough” ideas if you’re going to succeed. Would it surprise you to know that quite possibly – in fact most likely – your organization already has the capability to generate the solutions necessary to ensure you will thrive?

Consider the great Italian Renaissance artist, Michelangelo. His work remains unparalleled. He said, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

1. are empowered to regularly ask questions of leadership?
2. currently bring an “ownership, all-in” mentality to work?
3. are routinely solicited for their ideas on how to improve processes, etc.?
4. are consistently aware of why what they are doing on a daily basis is important?

If you answered 90% or above to these questions, you’re presently creating a masterpiece – and your organization is probably already healthy. If you fell below 90%, the good news is: Starting today, your job – and results – can get easier.

Three Actions to Guarantee Immunity from the Flu

Vannoy and Ross

Are you looking forward to getting the flu this season – or not? There are measures to significantly decreasing your chances of getting the “swine” flu. But what about the other flu that’s spreading through the work place?

Team’s everywhere are suffering high temperatures, congestion, lethargy, and loss of strength due to an illness few people are diagnosing: The Elephant Flu.

Symptoms of the Elephant Flu:

This flu is not unlike its brethren, the swine flu, in that it is infectious; the poor focus, attitudes and behaviors characterized by ‘the elephant in the office’ travel quickly and result in the poor health of an entire organization.

Washing your hands, sneezing into your elbow, taking your vitamins – all of these measures decrease the chances you’ll fall victim to the nasty swine flu. Consider that similar hygienic actions can ensure your team remains immune to the destructive forces of the elephant flu:

1. Wash your hands…ensure your team is focused on what they do want vs. what they don’t want. Nasty germs and viruses thrive in a backward focused culture.
2. Sneeze into your elbow…it’s impossible not to sneeze, so the key is containing the sneeze. Instead of avoiding “tough” issues go after them. AND address those issues in ways that make the people around you, relationships and results stronger.
3. Take your vitamins…focus on what is working, acknowledge those who are leading with the strength and character you admire, and celebrate the successes in the steps you’re making. This sort of consistent, healthy focus builds your team’s immunity, ensuring that the elephant flu won’t find a suitable host where it can begin its destructive ways.

Preventative medicine is the key. Today, host a “cultural health” conversation with your team, and ask, “What focus, attitudes and behaviors can we demonstrate more to further enhance our immunity from the elephant flu?”

End the Fireworks: Tell the Truth – And Live to Tell About It (Part 3)

Vannoy and Ross

The cost of this “elephant in the office,” along with how to make sure people are telling the truth around you, has been addressed in our last two blogs. But what happens if you want to step forward and tell the truth to others who you are afraid will explode? How do you tell the truth and live to tell about it?

First, understand that most people don’t tell the truth because they failed a logic lesson: Somewhere in the past they told the truth and barely survived the experience, so they deduced: “Telling the truth is a life-threatening exercise.”

What these people failed to consider is that telling the truth isn’t what put them into danger; what put them in grave peril is HOW they told the truth.

Most people tell the truth in ways that 

• Make other people wrong,
• Infuse dread and gloom into the conversation,
• Ignite controversy and unhealthy debate,
• Generate a new round of the blame game, and
• Leave people thinking about problems rather than solutions.

The most effective way to tell the truth is to simply offer it as information. It is, after all, only data. It’s not good or bad. (People’s focus and attitudes are what make things such.)

What would happen if, starting today, the people on your team told the truth in an authentic way…that inspired imaginations? Creativity? Opportunity? And a greater focus on solutions? For instance: “Here is my perspective regarding this situation… What can we do to ensure this moves forward?”

Such an approach, as the one above, is happening in offices all around the world – and these are the organizations that are moving forward the fastest.