Whether it’s a 4th of July celebration in the U.S. or a World Cup Soccer party you’re attending this weekend, there are certain leadership lessons you’ll want to keep in mind. Do these – and you may not want the party to end:

#1 When you’re standing in the back yard having a cold one and the other person says, “Hey, I think I hear someone calling for me,” this is a good indication you’re probably talking too much about yourself. Barbecue Survival Lesson: Ask questions of the person you’re hanging with, such as, “What’s new since we were here together last year?” or “What are you enjoying most about…?”

 #2 Undoubtedly, there’ll be someone show up who’s loud and obnoxious – at least more so than you. It may be tempting to roll your eyes and let others know what you really think. But why spoil a good party? Barbecue Survival Lesson: Low Road comments say more about us than the people we’re talking about. Besides, the person making noise wants to be great; so what if it’s not our version of great. Fan the flames of fun, and watch what happens to your own experience.

#3 Your cousin Louie will probably show. (Or some other distant relative.) He’ll tell jokes that make your nose crinkle, and end up asking you for a loan, too. Barbecue Survival Lesson: Family is family, and messin’ with it only leads to regrets. Acceptance is the name of the game; it’s not about changing Louie – it’s about changing how we see him.

#4 And be ready! That could be your boss that just showed up. So relax: It’s helpful to remember that they’re human, too. You may be behind on the numbers they’re waiting for, but now is not the time for that. Barbecue Survival Lesson: Put yourself in their flip-flops and talk about what they want to talk about. (See survival lesson #1 above: Ask questions!) It’s a fact: People who have strong relationships with one another – work better together. Skip the spread-sheet conversation, and talk Barbecue.

Vannoy and Ross

We’re sending out a call to all strategic slow-pokes. In this rush-rush-rush world where it’s all about results-results-results, some of your peers have missed the point. Some of your colleagues have fallen under the illusion that going faster all the time is the answer to delivering greater results.

But, as Neil Young so sagely reminds us, “When I was faster, I was always behind.”

The equation is easy to recognize:

Rush + rush + rush (multiplied by “dog-gone-it-I’ll-never-get-it-all-done-sort-of-stress) = results – short term gain (multiplied by poor quality).

Of course, we’re not advocating for full-time slow-poke-iness. The sort of slowness we’re talking about is the sort of time it takes to build sustainable, high quality results – which ultimately means your team moves faster.

Use this guide to help your colleagues know when they should act with urgency…and when they should be a strategic slow-poke:

1. When someone else shares a concern, your colleague can say “got it” (rush-rush-rush)…or they can state, “Tell me more,” and take the time to listen so others feel listened to (slow-poke).
2. They can start a meeting focusing on the problem (rush-rush-rush), which means they’ll be experts at why knowing why they’re failures…or they can start with “What are our strengths in this area?” (slow-poke) which means they’ll gain clues on how to be a greater success.
3. And when a peer doesn’t perform to expectations, your colleague can sternly state their disapproval by insinuating, “I’m extremely disappointed in you – you’re a loser” (rush-rush-rush)…or your colleague can tap into greater motivations by asking, “I want to know why it’s important to you deliver excellence as you complete this project?” (slow-poke).

Being a strategic slow-poke isn’t for everyone. It’s an approach reserved for those who desire results and quality and sustainability so their team can ultimately move faster.

Where can you help others get strategically slow today?

 

There once was an important man who ran a warehouse business. After decades on the job, he determined he knew everything there was to know about the people in the company. He knew who to communicate with, whom to go to when he needed to get a job done. And he knew who he could trust.

Year after year he made decisions based on the information he had. For instance, he knew that everyone in the finance department had a one-word vocabulary: NO. Everyone in sales was GREEDY. Everyone in production was SLOW. Those in HR didn’t have a clue about how to run a business. And the techies and engineers in the organization were the same NERDS who drove him crazy in high school.

Even with all his experience and wisdom, one thing eluded this manager: success. This man coveted big, leave-a-legacy and be-a-benchmark-in-the-industry sort of success. Confused, he pondered, “What do I need to do to take the next step?”

Just then his phone rang. “Hello?” he answered. It was his manager calling – to report how difficult ‘the NO people’ in finance were making things…and how the sales people were putting unrealistic demands on him…and how production was slower than a snail…and…and…

“Can I call you back?” the man interrupted his manager. And he hung up. And then he stood up.

“That’s it,” he realized. “I’ve been making decisions based on information I have – and the only information I have is why people are jerks, why things won’t work, and all the reasons we can’t move forward faster.” He looked at himself in the mirror and continued, “I’m in the warehouse business, alright. I collect and store and dispense the same destructive information! And, because those around me know how I think about people and things that’s the only type of information they share with me. People who don’t feel the way I do don’t share information with me – and it’s their information and perspectives that I need to make better leadership decisions.”

He put his coat on and uttered, “I’ve been tricking myself into thinking I have the information I need. It’s time to get out of the warehouse business – and into the business of leadership.”

 

First, a note: We’re celebrating our third year of the Stomp the Elephant blog! The success and impact of this “one minute wonder” has exceeded our hopes. Thank you for your role in communicating your ideas and successes, and for sharing the blog with others.

  ELEPHANT ALERT!

 

Do you know some people and teams who can’t discuss their past? While working with a company in the Midwest, someone referred to “those two years we had so-and-so as a CEO.” Another person quickly added, “Yeah, but we don’t talk about that here.”

That’s a big, ugly elephant in the office – one that is severely limiting their success. How crazy is it working in a place where you can’t talk about something? Where you can’t tell the truth?

How productive can one be when they have to censor their words – and thus edit or eliminate their ideas?  This sort of behavior has to stop.

Consider what effective leaders know: stomping elephants isn’t painful – it’s how you address them that is key. Teams can talk about the tough issues – the past – without destroying people and relationships. It just takes leadership.

The organization above is throwing away two years of experience (is there a greater resource?), because they lack the leadership to stomp the elephant. Imagine if they asked these and similar questions:

• What are the experiences during that period that need to be discussed?
• What are the lessons we need to retain moving forward?
• How has our past made us better today?
• What can we do so that people are grateful for past experiences?

Not talking about the tough issues has gone on long enough. Let’s stomp some elephants and get some work done.

 

Vannoy and Ross

(originally appeared February 17, 2008)

If you’re workplace is average, this work week you will waste 17 hours.

How many hours do you spend in meetings? “My day is one long meeting,” people often share with a sigh. Given this, how productive are the meetings you attend?

An online survey of employees in all industries revealed that, on average, 17 hours each week are wasted in unproductive meetings. Ouch!

 

Many people we interview report that fewer than 30% of the participants in a meeting are fully engaged. Like a leaky bucket, organizations allow the best ideas, the conscientious efforts and salaries go splashing away in a routine of “time-wasting” meetings.

Ineffective managers blame the disengaged – never comprehending that their own “blah-blah-blah” monologue and ‘blame-fix-command’ approach shoots holes in the aspirations, and results, of all. Thus, meetings become simply awful.

Awfully Simple… 

There are select leaders who have made productive meetings the norm – by keeping them awfully simple.

Think 10:90. A friend in the auto industry shares, “The more talking I do in meetings, the more people tune out. So I use the ‘10:90 Ratio.’ By limiting my words to mostly questions and speaking 10% of the time, the team runs with the remaining 90%. And we get better results.”

What’s more important to you: being limited to only the thoughts and ideas in your head – or being unlimited by listening to the thoughts and ideas in the heads of the people around you? Unless you plan on doing all the work, it’s time to build greater engagement in others.

Productivity is a choice. Telling – forcing – our ideas on others squelches engagement and limits solutions. How will you use the ‘10:90 Ratio’ this week to make meetings (and results) more productive?

 

Craig Ross and Steven Vannoy

Originally Run: July 21, 2007

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a conversation where the other person has nothing but “backward focused” things to say? Like a garbage collector they sift through the trash of the past, as if by turning it over they might find some hope.

Of course, the only hope you’re thinking about is “there must be some way out of this conversation.”

The average person, when in such a predicament, follows their focus (it’s what our minds naturally do). And as a result, they can quickly join in and become a thought-garbage collector themselves. Now it’s not a solo – where one person is singing the “what’s wrong with the world” song, it has become a choir, as an entire group of people are doing nothing but complaining.

When I find myself stuck in this mindset, I laugh at myself on the drive home. How dare I complain about how much I have to do, and how &%$#* my life is, when the truth is this: it was only I who didn’t have the discipline to step up and control my focus.

Stop the Garbage Collecting!

A man named Bob recently said, “When we find the conversation becoming negative there is something we can do.” We can stop the garbage collecting by “simply asking them, ‘What’s important?’ or ‘What do you want?’ And then, after that, we can ask them, ‘Why?’”

I know Bob and he’s not your average leader. He has delivered stellar results for his company for nearly 35 years. He said, “If we can get them focused forward, on what’s important and what they want, we can then begin to identify what they can do about it and how they can move forward. That’s the only way we’ll ever deliver solutions.”

Simple questions that help people out of the garbage: What do you want? What’s important to you? Why?

Know anybody that could use a lifeline?

 

 

 

Did you hear they are considering a new competition for future Olympics? This sport – one that occurs in offices around the world – has become so fashionable that the Olympic Committee can no longer refute its popularity: Communication Competition.

Colossal communication collapses take place every day due to one primary reason: People enter into conversations with the objective of winning, as if the person they are communicating with is their opponent. Communications become a sport – and quite dysfunctional – as participants in dialogues place an extra effort on proving they are superior.

Here are the tell-tale signs of communication competition:

1. When one person is more interested in proving the other wrong…rather than working together to evolve a mutually identified idea.
2. When people have a tone or use words that communicate to others “You’re an idiot”…rather than operating with the wisdom that no perspective (even their own) is ever complete.
3. When the mantra of “the customer is first” means we must bludgeon each other with commands…versus ensuring we are serving each other and making our team stronger – so that we can serve the customer in extraordinary ways.
4. When we fool ourselves by sending emails thinking the electronic format provides a defense from which we can fire missiles…rather than picking up the phone or walking down the hallway to demonstrate our maturity.
5. When we split the room in two while arguing with one-another by using words like “I disagree/agree”…instead of using words like, “from our perspective,” or “let’s continue to explore this thought,” to debate an idea and achieve alignment.

When you communicate, what are you saying about yourself? What are you telling others is your highest priority?

Wellness Culture leaders, those who lead high-performing workplaces, are only interested in winning as an organization. Their words and emails consistently inform the team: We want the same thing – success. Therefore, communications need not be competitions, but the primary vehicle to move people and results forward faster.

Vannoy and Ross

 

 

 

Do you know anyone who proudly exclaims, “You’ll never wonder what I’m trying to say, because I like to tell it like it is.” After hearing such claims, do you cringe and find yourself scratching your head, hoping for the day your tell-it-like-it-is friend gets wiser?

 

Consider the young football player. In high school you can be an incredible success – perhaps even all-conference – if you just hit hard. But if you want to make the team at the college level, where everyone hits hard, then you have to add technique to your game.

 

And if you want to play professionally some day? Then, you have to hit hard, demonstrate flawless technique and you have to play smart.

 

In other words, simply hitting hard isn’t enough. In fact, such a narrow-minded approach is not even close to being effective, let alone professional.

 

Why are so many tell-it-like-it-is people hard to work with? It’s like a roulette table as it’s always a gamble: You never know what you’re going to get. Are they going to tell it like it is…and leave a trail of destruction that hurts people, relationships and results? Where no one is inspired to share innovative ideas? Where confidence is bludgeoned?

 

Or, can the tell-it-like-it-is person also demonstrate a style and show they’re smart enough…so when they speak they develop:

• Better ideas than their own
• The people around them
• Relationships with others in the room
• Greater confidence in the plan being created
• And improved performance and results?

 

Our friend, Susan, inspired this: When someone says “I tell it like it is,” consider that we should respond: Let me tell you like it is: It is vital that when you share your perspective you do it in a way that moves thoughts, people and results forward.

 

What style and smarts will you model as you tell it like it is?

 

 

 

 

Leaders everywhere are begging for higher performance from their teams. And yet, would it surprise you to learn that many leaders are sabotaging their team’s performance with their current methods?

Somewhere, somehow, bosses learned that in an effort to get people to improve they should: 1) Point out what others are doing wrong, and 2) Provide specific feedback only in the annual performance review.

It’s crazy: Imagine you are a parent: How much sense would it make if you only provided your children feedback once a year? And, when you did provide them such information you focused on everything they were doing wrong.

What would you expect for behavior from children exposed to such an approach? Would you volunteer to babysit them?

The brain is a brain, whether it’s in a child or an adult. This means you can guarantee: It goes towards its focus. This is why legendary football coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant, would rarely stop the game film when his players were making mistakes. He reasoned: Why program their minds to reinforce what you don’t want to have happen? Instead, his players could count on watching (and watching again) those moments when their performance was strong.

Additionally, timely feedback is crucial. “In the moment” feedback propels performance forward immediately. For example, “John, by delivering the project today instead of tomorrow, you put us on a pace to hit our Q1 target. Thank you.”

When feedback is sincere (your mean it), specific (focused on the details of excellence), and selective (timely), every day is filled with powerful performance enhancer moments. (From our book, Stomp the Elephant in the Office)

The question is: Are you willing to seize those moments…or do you just want to talk about it at the end of the year?

 

Fact: Being “positive” and being forward focused are two different things. Yet, it is alarming: when someone receives bad news, others will often attempt to assist those in need by encouraging them to “be positive.”

Depending on the state of mind of the person in need, those around him might be cautious; such a coaching approach is likely to backfire – and make matters worse. Why? Because there’s not a lot that is positive, for instance, about firing people, cutting budgets, and missing your child’s ball game because you have to meet with a client.

Most certainly, those who extend the “be positive” proclamation should not be blamed; they are attempting to help. And, consider that you can increase the awareness of such well-intended colleagues by assuring others understand how “being positive” falls short of living and leading in a forward focused manner.

By definition, being positive includes hope, and it has the essence of rhetoric. Forward focus is biased towards action, and has the essence of discipline – which results in greater hope for tomorrow. Being positive means being nice; alternatively, forward focus has, among other things, three important components. It means that in interactions you work to develop:

• the person,
• the relationship,
• and results.

Of course, in some interactions you may only achieve one of the three elements above. But any approach that does not consistently strive to accomplish all three cannot be sustained – and is disastrous in the long term.

The three components of being forward focused can have a positive effect. It can feel good. But, unlike “the positive approach,” the forward focus approach can also be used during “negative” events. In such situations, people don’t necessarily feel good, but they know what must be done to build people, relationships and results long term.

And that’s a good thing.