ELEPHANT ALERT!

Alarming news: “On your next flight your plane will be on target – it will have its nose directly in line with your destination – less than 5% of the time,” a participant recently shared.

Even with a clear vision, strong execution and determination, there will be moments when we are not on target. How leaders respond in such moments determines their results.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Some people spend hours focusing on, ridiculing and criticizing those who are off target. Somehow, these bosses believe that by making people feel bad, stupid or incompetent, that off-target people will respond in a healthy way.

Yet, how excited do you get about changing when you feel like gum on the sole of a shoe? This approach exacerbates errors. Conversely, people change when they feel good about themselves.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Imagine if every time your flight was off course you went to the cockpit and yelled, “Hey pilot, you’re an idiot! We’re off course. You’re not flying this tin can the right way!” This seems ludicrous. Yet, have you observed others who use this approach when giving others feedback?

This doesn’t mean we should tolerate being “off target.” The key is: As a leader, how quickly can you get yourself and others back on target? Two course-correcting steps achieve this:

1. Provide a statement of affirmation that builds confidence. For example, “It’s clear you are passionate about delivering excellence.”
2. Ask a question that allows the pilot to self-correct. “What will be your next steps to ensuring greater quality?” Or, “What does your completed objective look like now?”

We go in the direction of our focus. Today, help two people course correct: another person – and yourself.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

When I was ten I had an experience I will never forget. It was a typical, oppressive, hot and humid day in Minnesota. I’d been in the field picking rock for hours and wasn’t happy.

Suddenly, an idea came to me that would make my life easier – and possibly change the world!

Walking into the house I shared my secret. “Dad! Someday I’m going to invent a very thin, lotion-like substance that will insulate me from the sun and keep me cool. It will be like an invisible suit you can wear in the heat.”

My dad looked at me and laughed. “It’s already been invented, son.”

I was shocked. “Really?”

“Yep,” my dad replied. “It’s called sweat.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: There’s a lot of people under stress who are functioning as if they’re incomplete, as if they lack what it takes to be a success. They whine, complain, and mope around…wishing they had what they already have. Such people function in a perpetual state of failure.

What does it mean to you and your chances for success knowing that most of your competition is probably using this “elephant in the office” approach?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Try this conversation with a friend or team: What is the difference between determining what we need to acquire in order to be a success vs. determining what we can do to leverage what we already have to be an even greater success? As you consider your results, include in your observations the varied impact the two approaches have on attitudes, confidence and momentum.

Consider that you don’t need to invent sweat to be a success – you simply need to sweat.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Do you inspire people? Do people like being around you? Do you influence the effectiveness of others – for the greater good – when you’re in the room?

These are questions aspiring leaders should ask themselves. The answers tell us a lot.

Here’s the elephant in the office: There are some people who don’t care what people think of them. “Screw ‘em,” they say. “What you see is what you get. I’m not going to change me. Deal with it.” (Is this a form of laziness? Denial? Insecurity?)

This, of course, leaves everyone else dealing with what they get: breakdowns in communication, poor relationships, and ugly results.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Autonomy, the ability to determine your own value, is a strong characteristic of influential leaders. It also has a dark side: when we disregard the feedback we receive from others and no longer work to improve who we are.

We just worked with a team in Medellin, Colombia. The top 30 leaders of this already-successful organization are determined to take their company to new highs. And here’s one reason why we’re betting they’ll succeed: they’re dedicated to functioning in a way where those they lead say, “I want to be like you.”

Their secret to achieving this is simple: in every interaction with others they focus on building stronger relationships.

At the end of the day what do people say about you? Are you functioning in a way that inspires people to emulate you…or are you a model that leaves people muttering, “I’m learning a lot from him: everything I don’t want to do when I’m in his position”?

This end-of-the-day test has a bonus section: who do your children wish they could be like?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

When we ask participants what percentage of leaders qualify as “great communicators,” we consistently hear 10-15%. How do you ensure you’re in that select group?

Do you find yourself in conversations full of friction? Where people are unaligned? And individuals walk away frustrated? Perhaps you suffer from “Snip Snip” Communication.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Countless people participate in conversations with the full-time job of adjusting other people’s comments to fit their own ideas. They listen with the intent of fixing the other person; their mind scurries for ways to persuade and convince the other person. They often state, “What you need to understand…” And when they say “The problem is…” what they’re really telling us is “What your limited and idiotic brain has failed to realize is…”

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

There’s a significant difference between using time proving what’s wrong with another person’s thoughts and attempting to tailor – snip snip – them to your own…versus spending time co-creating and exploring what will work. And of course the latter practically guarantees you get a better idea.

The most effective way to co-create and explore better ideas is to ask questions. The best leaders, when in a conversation with others, often ask:

• “Given what you’ve said, what would happen if…”
• “Okay then, how do we best…”
• “Here’s my perspective…how might we utilize both approaches?”
• “What else we might consider to take the next step?”

Business is a battle of wills – and that struggle should be restricted to our competition, while not including our teammates. Today, will you suffer “snip snip” communication and cut others’ ideas to shreds, or will you co-create your solutions?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

A Microsoft survey revealed that over 17 hours each week are wasted in meetings. There are many causes for this gross and costly waste, but one stands out: people are serving and eating waffles!

To “waffle” means to speak in terms that are not direct; it means you are not clear in your communications.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Everyone has 100 #1 priorities to achieve. Ambiguity rules the day. Too many leaders are unable to help their teams decipher what is important – and why. This, of course, leaves little chance that effective execution can follow. Confusion reigns!

Do you want syrup or whip cream with your waffles?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

We see it everywhere: individuals who occupy large portions of the clock to communicate an idea. This approach leaves everyone else in the room wandering aimlessly in daydreams, itching to use their Blackberries, and checking their watches. Waffles, waffles, waffles.

Of course, some people do use direct language – but in a way that tramples people. This approach is ultimately more distasteful and harmful than waffles.

There is a way to be direct and serve those around you:

1. Challenge yourself: use no more than two or three sentences to articulate a) background information and b) what is important to you.
2. In one sentence tell why the above is important to you.
3. Use one sentence to ask a specific question that allows others to explore how they will utilize the information you just provided.

Ironically, when we speak directly and to the point and people are still unclear…they’ll ask for more information, a second helping of what you’re serving! (Because they haven’t fallen asleep eating your waffles.)

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

While waiting for a flight, I found a few hours to get caught up on emails. Diving in, I grimaced as I read the “received date” on each email. Back…back…back I went in time.

And then I looked at the content of the delinquent emails. Each email fell into two categories:

1. Someone was waiting for information from me (on a project I didn’t deem as a priority); and
2. Situations where I was determined to share an “oh-my-gosh-I-never-thought-of-that” idea.

This is when it smacked me in the face: I’ve got micro-management tendencies – by thinking I need to respond to every email.

Here’s the elephant in the office: There are people who think their ideas are somehow more important than others. They, therefore, hold onto information and ideas until “the time is right.” This slows everyone – including the perpetrator – down.

The only time is now; and if you miss now, everyone is left wondering, ‘When?’

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

This lesson was underscored a couple years ago when my laptop was stolen. I was devastated. There must have been over 200 emails in my inbox sitting – waiting – for a response. I grimaced considering the countless people who were certain to share their frustration with me as they waited for my thoughts.

No one said a word. Nothing. It’s as if the world couldn’t have cared less that my computer had vanished.

Is it possible we’re not as important as we think we are? Emails are a fact of life; they are how business gets done. Are you leading via your emails? Or are you micro-managing?

How will you demonstrate leadership with your email responses? How will your fingers lead today?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

During a session in France a participant asked his colleagues, “Did anyone notice the type of conversation we had last night? We had a few beers and after that…we discussed what we like about our company.” He smiled. “This is unusual. After a few beers people speak the truth – and that’s when the criticism of the company begins.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most companies approach their culture as if it’s an adhesive; they only talk about teamwork when they don’t have it. Wishing or demanding that people work together is not effective. In such cases, pizza and holiday parties turn into additional opportunities for people to b*#&% and moan.

What do your teammates say about the company after they’ve had a beer?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

‘In vino veritas’ is Latin for “after wine comes the truth.” The truth is a powerful; what people think determines their attitudes. And attitudes create behaviors. And behaviors generate results.

What’s the truth about your organization? And do those around you need vino to share the truth?

Italy is always producing wine; efforts to build your culture, therefore, can never cease. People will always tell the truth; and we must always use that truth to make us stronger.

Here’s an amazing, nearly fail-proof strategy to creating an environment where people tell the truth: begin by telling the truth yourself. Have a conversation about perceptions and opinions. Talk about the ‘tough stuff’ as though you’re an observer. And then take an important next step by asking, “How will we make this better?”

Once these conversations become commonplace you can raise a glass and make a toast. And then breathe easy knowing the conversation won’t change after people have had a drink or two.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

A lot of people concur with others. “Amen!” they shout to verbalize their agreement. “We’re on the same page,” they seem to say.

This is a good thing; aligned organizations make amazing things happen. Yet, what’s the first step in getting ourselves aligned? Answer: Someone needs to speak up.

Here’s the elephant in the office: The workplace is filled with inexcusable behaviors. Too many people are tolerating these actions without saying a word…while waiting for someone else to stand up and say, “We can do better.”

It’s amazing: once someone does stand up and address the elephant people come from everywhere to say “Amen brother!”

Do you have the courage to speak up when no one else will? Or do you suffer from amen affliction?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Most people won’t speak up when they see poor behavior around them because they fear the ramifications. Will I be outcast? Will there be retribution? These are real concerns. Yet, what are we suffering when we don’t speak up? What’s the cost to our personal well-being, our family’s joy and business results when we allow toxic attitudes to continue?

Today it can be different. Today we can speak up and address what it is we want to see improve. Here’s the key to doing this: there’s a big difference between stomping people and stomping behaviors. When we address unacceptable actions with a desire to serve even the person who is demonstrating the boorish behavior – when we share what’s important and why – then we tap into a shared value: the desire to see everyone prosper.

What poor behaviors around you are ready to be stomped? You’re being called.

Amen!

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

“I don’t want to sound negative,” says a colleague. (Before he says it, you know what’s coming.) “But I hate the way…” And of course, they then continue with a backward focus.

This is similar to the email that says: “I don’t usually forward these…but I couldn’t resist…” And sure enough, you open some sappy or comical or data-filled communication that takes your focus from the task at hand.

Or another favorite: “I know I shouldn’t eat this, but I worked hard today…”

Here’s the elephant in the office: “But”-heads are everywhere. These are the individuals who

1. Articulate a standard or community value, and then
2. Rationalize why they don’t have to live up to those expectations. The word “but” signals the end of accountability.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Without accountability progress is impossible. This means it’s time to end the but-head approach.

First, change begins with you. Take this challenge: wipe the word “but” from your language for one week. Watch how your willpower grows. Watch how people come to you with more diverse ideas – and how their respect for you grows. And watch how you begin to get more done.

Second, when you find someone being a but-head, help them return to their values. These are the words they uttered before “but” slipped out. Ask them a question, such as:

• Why is it that you’re not usually negative?
• Why do you prefer not to send those types of emails?
• What do you normally eat?

There’s a lot at stake. If this elephant isn’t stomped we may someday hear, “I was going to be successful, but I became a but-head.”

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

When I was growing up my dad forbid us say “shut up” to anyone. So I had to get crafty. I had to find illusory ways to get others to stop talking. A few years ago I realized I had perfected the method.

To get those around you to shut up:

1. Pile your ideas on top of their ideas;
2. Respond to their comments with “However” or “But” at the beginning of your sentence;
3. Ignore their opinions; and
4. Make sure you have the last word.

Here’s the elephant in the office: A lot of managers are pleading for their teams to be more engaged…and yet every day they tell them to shut up.

Do you see this elephant anywhere? Do you know a parent who complains “My teenage child won’t talk to me”?  Do you know a boss who has to do all the thinking because everyone else has been trained not to?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

My friend John P. from Ohio says, “What you DO is more profound than what you TELL someone to do.” The best leaders use their ACTIONS to create ownership in others. One of the most powerful things we can do is examine how we respond when others are talking.

Take this challenge. Over the next two weeks as you’re listening to others:

1. Let their ideas stand alone – free from your ideas;
2. Create alignment by eliminating “however” and “but” from your responses;
3. Incorporate their ideas in future conversations and plans; and
4. Let them have the last word. (You can wrap it up with a “thank you.”)

Dad was right. Telling others to shut up is destructive.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?