ELEPHANT ALERT!

We’ve received further evidence that people don’t know what they don’t know. The response from viewers after being interviewed by the local network TV station has been enlightening. One email read, “I saw your interview…I dread going to work…and never thought to doing anything about it until now.”

And a neighbor shared that his boss, after seeing the news clip, wanted to purchase Stomp the Elephant in the Office. “I’ve talked to him for years about improving the organization,” he said. “Something clicked. Go figure.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Millions of people go to work each day – and dread the experience. It’s alarming: They’ve succumbed to a belief system “that work sucks, and that’s just the way it is.”

The way it is doesn’t have to be the way it is.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

A friend complained about a pain in his back. He said it had bothered him for years, and prevented him from fully participating in life. “Finally, I decided I’d had enough and got it treated. Best decision I ever made. I’m now pain free.”

Do you know someone who religiously complains about the relationship they have with one or more of their co-workers? Consider the possibility that they don’t know what they don’t know – that their work environment CAN be better.

You can help by asking:

1. Do you intend to function with this painful relationship forever?
2. What’s it costing you to be ‘disabled’ because of this relationship?
3. What role are you playing in this dysfunctional relationship?
4. What would it be worth if this relationship improved?
5. What are three things you’ll do to move this forward?

What are you ready to change about what you don’t know?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Effective leaders know their company must be better than the competition. But how many leaders add this twist: they think they must also be better than the people around them?

Are you putting pressure on yourself to be the best – and a version of “best” that means better than everyone else?

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many think “leadership” means being better than those around them. They make sure others are good at what they do…but not too good; they claim the credit; they ensure they speak last; and they keep people from running with their greatest strengths, lest those strengths claim too much attention.

This approach incurs many costs, including:

1. whenever the “leader” is out of the room results suffer, and
2. tomorrow’s success is left to chance as eventually the “leader” will depart.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Want to create magic? Over the next fourteen days make a commitment to operate with a rare and effective mindset. Commit to lead in a way that makes everyone around you better than you. Take steps in your communications and actions to ensure that every single time they leave you they are better than when they came to you.

Then observe what happens to the level of trust and respect around you. Watch how people solicit your feedback and guidance. Measure how your influence – and results – grows.

The old adage is true: the more you give, the more you get back. Are you leading so you can be great – or using an approach that focuses on making those around you great first? Your answer determines your success. And only one answer guarantees that tomorrow will be better than today.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Alarming news: “On your next flight your plane will be on target – it will have its nose directly in line with your destination – less than 5% of the time,” a participant recently shared.

Even with a clear vision, strong execution and determination, there will be moments when we are not on target. How leaders respond in such moments determines their results.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Some people spend hours focusing on, ridiculing and criticizing those who are off target. Somehow, these bosses believe that by making people feel bad, stupid or incompetent, that off-target people will respond in a healthy way.

Yet, how excited do you get about changing when you feel like gum on the sole of a shoe? This approach exacerbates errors. Conversely, people change when they feel good about themselves.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Imagine if every time your flight was off course you went to the cockpit and yelled, “Hey pilot, you’re an idiot! We’re off course. You’re not flying this tin can the right way!” This seems ludicrous. Yet, have you observed others who use this approach when giving others feedback?

This doesn’t mean we should tolerate being “off target.” The key is: As a leader, how quickly can you get yourself and others back on target? Two course-correcting steps achieve this:

1. Provide a statement of affirmation that builds confidence. For example, “It’s clear you are passionate about delivering excellence.”
2. Ask a question that allows the pilot to self-correct. “What will be your next steps to ensuring greater quality?” Or, “What does your completed objective look like now?”

We go in the direction of our focus. Today, help two people course correct: another person – and yourself.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Do you inspire people? Do people like being around you? Do you influence the effectiveness of others – for the greater good – when you’re in the room?

These are questions aspiring leaders should ask themselves. The answers tell us a lot.

Here’s the elephant in the office: There are some people who don’t care what people think of them. “Screw ‘em,” they say. “What you see is what you get. I’m not going to change me. Deal with it.” (Is this a form of laziness? Denial? Insecurity?)

This, of course, leaves everyone else dealing with what they get: breakdowns in communication, poor relationships, and ugly results.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Autonomy, the ability to determine your own value, is a strong characteristic of influential leaders. It also has a dark side: when we disregard the feedback we receive from others and no longer work to improve who we are.

We just worked with a team in Medellin, Colombia. The top 30 leaders of this already-successful organization are determined to take their company to new highs. And here’s one reason why we’re betting they’ll succeed: they’re dedicated to functioning in a way where those they lead say, “I want to be like you.”

Their secret to achieving this is simple: in every interaction with others they focus on building stronger relationships.

At the end of the day what do people say about you? Are you functioning in a way that inspires people to emulate you…or are you a model that leaves people muttering, “I’m learning a lot from him: everything I don’t want to do when I’m in his position”?

This end-of-the-day test has a bonus section: who do your children wish they could be like?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

When we ask participants what percentage of leaders qualify as “great communicators,” we consistently hear 10-15%. How do you ensure you’re in that select group?

Do you find yourself in conversations full of friction? Where people are unaligned? And individuals walk away frustrated? Perhaps you suffer from “Snip Snip” Communication.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Countless people participate in conversations with the full-time job of adjusting other people’s comments to fit their own ideas. They listen with the intent of fixing the other person; their mind scurries for ways to persuade and convince the other person. They often state, “What you need to understand…” And when they say “The problem is…” what they’re really telling us is “What your limited and idiotic brain has failed to realize is…”

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

There’s a significant difference between using time proving what’s wrong with another person’s thoughts and attempting to tailor – snip snip – them to your own…versus spending time co-creating and exploring what will work. And of course the latter practically guarantees you get a better idea.

The most effective way to co-create and explore better ideas is to ask questions. The best leaders, when in a conversation with others, often ask:

• “Given what you’ve said, what would happen if…”
• “Okay then, how do we best…”
• “Here’s my perspective…how might we utilize both approaches?”
• “What else we might consider to take the next step?”

Business is a battle of wills – and that struggle should be restricted to our competition, while not including our teammates. Today, will you suffer “snip snip” communication and cut others’ ideas to shreds, or will you co-create your solutions?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Changing behavior means doing something you didn’t do before. To be successful requires discipline and effective leadership tools. While we make these efforts, something else proves priceless: supportive people around us.

Few cultures like this exist.

Here’s the elephant in the office: It’s ironic: Everyone wants everyone else to change – and then when people attempt to change they are often criticized! Have you seen such bloodsuckers in your organization? They crawl around and say, “That person isn’t being authentic.” Or, “That person isn’t sincere in their efforts.”

Without blood, we die. In those cultures where sincerity bloodsuckers thrive, the weak quickly retreat. And nothing changes.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

I used to be a sincerity bloodsucker. That is, until I discovered I was telling the world “Anybody who does something I wouldn’t or does it in a way that doesn’t seem natural, isn’t sincere.” This is when I realized I’m not helping anything; in fact, I’m diminishing our prospects for greatness. Not very bright, especially when you consider that because we’re on the same team, my success is dependent on their success.

Perfecting new behaviors – change – takes practice. And logically initial efforts won’t seem natural at first. Yet, does this mean someone is not sincere?

A group in Ohio calls themselves The Rolling Along team. And rolling they are: their company is delivering unprecedented results. What is one of their keys for success? Instead of sucking the life out of each other’s change efforts, they, like select other teams, support each other. They coach each other. They believe that, like themselves, others want to be great. And thus, they are.

Look closely: today, who around you is stepping out and trying something new? And how will you respond?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

My father has dementia. One moment he speaks with clarity about the presidential election; the next, he recounts how a doctor chased him with a scalpel.

And I sit and love him. And I smile. And I know we’re okay.

I feel this way because years ago my business partner, Steve, coached me on celebrating the relationship I have with my father as often as I could. So postcards with weekly thoughts were sent; and Saturday phone calls were made with ideas and questions.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too many teams and families operate with a false, unspoken rule that we’re supposed to delay celebrating our relationships with others. Somehow our society got it wrong. For instance, we wait until a person retires – and then we buy them a gold watch and tell them how much we appreciate them…after which they leave.

Why wait?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Most of us don’t walk up to another and say, “I appreciate you.” But we don’t have to say these things, do we? We can simply:

• Smile;
• Say thank you;
• Honor their ideas;
• Listen to them;
• Give them responsibilities;
• And tell them what they’re doing well.

Relationships, whether they’re personal or professional, always have one common, fundamental characteristic. Inside all of us is a heart that longs for the same thing: to know we matter.

Who needs to hear from you today?

My father’s understanding of what is and isn’t – his window – is closing. Soon, we’ll no longer understand each other’s words. Yet there’s no urgency to make up for anything. There’s only gratitude for a life of celebrations. And there’s grace.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

In engineering, manufacturing and other places, there is the 1-10-100 Rule. Essentially it means if a flaw is addressed in the engineering phase, it cost $1. If you address that same flaw in the manufacturing phase, the cost is now $10. And, you guessed it, if the flaw makes it to the customer, it’s one hundred times more expensive to resolve.

Could the same rule apply in your office? Before you go into your next meeting ask yourself, “What’s the cost if we only solve issues but don’t build better, more effective relationships?”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most leaders only talk about “teamwork” when they don’t have it. They conduct “business as usual” until cracks show up in their team, until there are breakdowns in trust, alignment and communication. The 1-10-100 Rule applies here; and that’s an expensive way to do business.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Fact: you are engineering relationships and your culture in every interaction of the day. The most effective leaders use the meetings they participate in to enhance the quality of their relationships, develop trust, and create alignment. This ensures that “flaws” don’t show up down the line.

This approach is easier than people think. Ultimately, it is achieved by focus. When we provide feedback to others that addresses desired behaviors, we generate more of those behaviors. This means focusing on effective teamwork when you have it rather than waiting until you don’t.

While it’s cost effective to engineer great relationships up front, the best leaders report this approach is the most personally satisfying as well.

Before your next meeting ask yourself: What behavior will I engineer that ensures flawless relationships moving forward?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

In college a professor informed me “You’ll never amount to much.” Ouch. Let’s say he wasn’t fond of my approach to life. The experience left me reeling.

Enter Professor P. Without extra pay or recognition, she agreed to tutor me, to inherit the professor role for a class that wasn’t hers. Today, I can’t remember the course subject, but I do remember the lesson: I CAN amount to something. What would have happened if Professor P hadn’t stepped in?

Do you know people who want to make a difference…but have a belief that they can only do so at church, as a volunteer or with their family? They go through their life waiting to make a difference.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most people are forfeiting countless hours at work with the idea that those moments are destined to be empty of value. This approach is flawed. We spend most of our time at work; therefore, the equation is simple: we can make a tremendous difference at work. 

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Professor P. didn’t know it was a seminal moment in my life. She simply saw someone in need and responded. If she HAD been looking for seminal moments she would have missed me. And I would have missed me, too.

How about you? Do you treat your hours at work as the greatest platform you have to serve others? Do you interact with others at a level where you make a difference in their life? When I’m not doing this I ask myself, “What am I waiting for?” And my silly answer is: the right opportunity.

And then I laugh – because an opportunity presents itself each time I have contact with someone else.

Thanks for the lesson, Professor P.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

This weekend children are going to peer into their Easter baskets and eye the chocolate bunny. And the first thing they’ll wonder is, “Is it hollow – or is it solid?” Kids are smart: if it’s a solid bunny they’ll get more chocolate. They, too, are after value!

Which begs the question: What do people think when they look at you?

WHAT MIGHT BE

I recently had a “hollow chocolate bunny” moment. While on a flight to work with a large organization, I sat next to (what I thought) was just another person. I was cordial. I was friendly. But I also had a lot of work to do.

Wouldn’t you know it – the next day who do I find in the session I’m conducting? The gentleman who sat next to me on the plane! I slapped myself on the forehead and thought, “Dog-gone-it, that wasn’t just another person. I wish I had spent time getting to know them.”

How hollow is that? Is my motivation to honor someone – to give them value – conditional upon if I can get something in return? I’m ashamed.

WHAT CAN BE

After a recent keynote a participant named Chuck shared, “You know, chocolate bunnies all look the same on the outside. It’s once you bite into them that you find out if they’re solid or not. People are like that, too.”

Take the chocolate bunny test: Do you deliver value regardless of what you receive in return? Or is your “giving” conditional and thus hollow? What’s the difference between people who just talk about values (hollow) and people who live out of their values (solid)? 

Here’s to the SOLID chocolate bunnies in our future.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.