Vannoy and Ross

Do you know anyone who proudly exclaims, “You’ll never wonder what I’m trying to say, because I like to tell it like it is.” After hearing such claims, do you cringe and find yourself scratching your head, hoping for the day your tell-it-like-it-is friend gets wiser?

Consider the young football player. In high school you can be an incredible success – perhaps even all-conference – if you just hit hard. But if you want to make the team at the college level, where everyone hits hard, then you have to add technique to your game.

And if you want to play professionally some day? Then, you have to hit hard, demonstrate flawless technique and you have to play smart.

In other words, simply hitting hard isn’t enough. In fact, such a narrow-minded approach is not even close to being effective, let alone professional.

Why are so many tell-it-like-it-is people hard to work with? It’s like a roulette table as it’s always a gamble: You never know what you’re going to get. Are they going to tell it like it is…and leave a trail of destruction that hurts people, relationships and results? Where no one is inspired to share innovative ideas? Where confidence is bludgeoned?

Or, can the tell-it-like-it-is person also demonstrate a style and show they’re smart enough…so when they speak they develop:

• Better ideas than their own
• The people around them
• Relationships with others in the room
• Greater confidence in the plan being created
• And improved performance and results?

Our friend, Susan, inspired this: When someone says “I tell it like it is,” consider that we should respond: Let me tell you like it is: It is vital that when you share your perspective you do it in a way that moves thoughts, people and results forward.

What style and smarts will you model as you tell it like it is?

December 14, 2009

5 Common Leadership Errors that Ruin the Holidays

Vannoy and Ross

Think you’re ready for the Holidays? Your travel plans are ready; the gifts are nearly purchased and wrapped; the house is cleaned and decorated; and you’ve been starving yourself so you can eat as much of your mother’s cookies as you want.

Yet, even with all the preparation, if we’re not ready to lead ourselves – lead our focus and behaviors – the Holidays can be a complete flop. As so many Pathways to Leadership graduates know, it’s vital that your leadership increases as you go home. This holds especially true during this important time of the year.

Here are the five most common errors of personal leadership during the Holidays – and what you can do to create greater results.

 1. Insist on getting everything done on your “to-do” list during your “time off.” Instead: Identify the kind of experiences you want to have during this time and act in a way that creates those experiences.

2. Prior to visiting your relatives, articulate all the things you can’t stand about them. Instead: Identify the top three things you  most appreciate about your relatives - and relentlessly focus on those elements.

3. Focus on all the places you’re overeating. Instead: Celebrate every ounce of discipline you demonstrate.

4. Lament all the things you didn’t achieve in 2009. Instead: Celebrate what you and your family have done in the last year.

 5. Discuss how bad the unemployment rate, the economy, and your boss will be in 2010. Instead: Determine the behaviors and mindset (both of which are in your control) that you will live by in the months ahead to ensure the direction you go is productive.

Rest, joy, gratitude, and abundance… the things you crave for the Holidays - are always available to you.

It’s 4th and Goal: Can You Win the Game?

So you do what most coaches do: You play it safe – and kick.

Guess what? If you had gone for it, research shows you would have measurably increased your chances of winning the game. David Romer of the University of California, Berkeley, analyzed over 700 football games between 1998 and 2000. His work revealed that those teams who go for it on 4th down increase their overall chance of success compared with those teams who don’t.*

So why don’t more coaches “go for it” when they find themselves in such a situation? Perhaps more importantly, why don’t more people in your organization “go for it” when they have an opportunity to take a risk and advance the cause of the organization?

The answer is not that people are afraid of making a mistake; the answer is that people are afraid of the consequences from others when they make a mistake.

Just as the football coach has to face the chorus of boos from the home crowd – and the blistering analysis in the media – when his team fails, so do people like you have to face the judgment of others when you step up and try something…and fail.

It’s easy to consider how we feel our colleagues will respond to the ‘mistakes’ we make. But that’s not the point. The challenge is this: How do you and others respond when someone else takes a risk? Do you boo – or cheer?

In a very real way, the crowd of 70,000 and the media talk shows represent your culture. Does your culture support others when they “go for it” on 4th down? Do your part today to make sure it does.

*(http://elsa.berkeley.edu/~dromer/papers/PAPER_NFL_JULY05_FORWEB_CORRECTED.pdf).

This Weekend Tap a Radical Resource for Your Job

Vannoy and Ross

September 1, 2009

 Labor Day is approaching in the United States, a chance to “catch your breath” and let go of the stresses of your job. But consider that your most important work is about to begin.

At the end of most days, when you go home, does your marriage, or your family, or your time at home provide you with more energy? Does your time away from the office make you an even stronger employee? Does your time with loved ones propel you forward in your thinking and make you even more excited about the possibilities in your professional life?

This issue – where the home life is marginalized, or worse, becomes a distraction or drain on dreams – is a huge elephant for too many people. After giving their all at the office, such employees come home and open the door to power struggles, jealousy, apathy and worse. Of course, this directly affects your company’s bottom line, because that same person brings their shattered focus back to work.

Conversely, there are many people who understand that the most important leadership work on the planet is how they lead themselves and their family. “At first it was a radical idea,” shared a participant in a recent Pathways to Leadership session. “But the more I thought about it, I knew it was true: The stronger my marriage is, the greater the resource and support I have in my professional life.

“I used to come home and both of us would talk about all the things that didn’t go well, what we didn’t like about the day, our job – you name it. Finally, we both woke up and decided enough was enough. So we changed our focus and started talking about our responsibilities, our opportunities. In time, this has changed the energy of my home. Now, when I leave for the office I can feel my family cheering me on.

“The stronger my family is, the stronger I am in my job. It’s a powerful way to live and lead –  and show up for work.”

“The stronger my family is, the stronger I am in my job. It’s a powerful way to live and lead – and show up for work.”

This Labor Day, how will you take advantage of the time to build this radical resource – your family?

End the Fireworks: Tell the Truth – And Live to Tell About It (Part 3)

Vannoy and Ross

The cost of this “elephant in the office,” along with how to make sure people are telling the truth around you, has been addressed in our last two blogs. But what happens if you want to step forward and tell the truth to others who you are afraid will explode? How do you tell the truth and live to tell about it?

First, understand that most people don’t tell the truth because they failed a logic lesson: Somewhere in the past they told the truth and barely survived the experience, so they deduced: “Telling the truth is a life-threatening exercise.”

What these people failed to consider is that telling the truth isn’t what put them into danger; what put them in grave peril is HOW they told the truth.

Most people tell the truth in ways that 

• Make other people wrong,
• Infuse dread and gloom into the conversation,
• Ignite controversy and unhealthy debate,
• Generate a new round of the blame game, and
• Leave people thinking about problems rather than solutions.

The most effective way to tell the truth is to simply offer it as information. It is, after all, only data. It’s not good or bad. (People’s focus and attitudes are what make things such.)

What would happen if, starting today, the people on your team told the truth in an authentic way…that inspired imaginations? Creativity? Opportunity? And a greater focus on solutions? For instance: “Here is my perspective regarding this situation… What can we do to ensure this moves forward?”

Such an approach, as the one above, is happening in offices all around the world – and these are the organizations that are moving forward the fastest.

A reader, Sara, recently wrote, “I have a boss who is a ‘fear manager.’ He has been told to read your book. If this manager stays true to form, he’ll manipulate the material of the book to show how he is the organization’s savior among incompetents. I have my doubts he is capable of recognizing himself as an ‘elephant in the office.’ Quite a conundrum, huh?”

First, congratulations to Sara: By seeking ways to effectively influence her boss, she elevates her leadership. Instead of complaining, Sara is seeking solutions.

The task in front of Sara isn’t easy. There are no “magic-leadership-wands.” But there are steps Sara can take to “lead upwards”:

Elephants are Behaviors, not People

It is vital that Sara doesn’t see her boss as the elephant; it is his behavior that is destructive. This paradigm shift in viewpoint creates new possibilities because it is easier to change behaviors than people.

If Sara’s boss, upon reading Stomp the Elephant in the Office perceives he’s being fixed, he’ll become defensive. The “fix-that-person” approach always backfires. Conversely, when the boss knows Sara is fighting for him, trust begins to build.

Focus is a key! Many people have harmful conversations behind their boss’s back. But bosses are human; their intuition informs them of these conversations. Sara can dramatically affect her culture by focusing on – and providing feedback – in those areas where the supervisor is delivering constructive behaviors. This isn’t about “being positive.” Because the boss, like everyone else,  goes toward his focus, this is about moving behaviors forward.

Developing a Relationship of Trust

As a relationship of trust develops with her boss, Sara can enter into conversations where she can address behaviors collectively. “It’s important that we function with greater integrity…” And, “Where can we all improve in this area?”

Dad was right when he said, “You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.” We applaud Sara and others who demonstrate the courage to proactively “lead upwards.”

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

This is a true story, but the names have been changed.  I went hiking with my friend Dale this morning.  He is a mid level manager in a medium sized firm.  He mentioned that their long term Chief Operations Officer had recently left the organization.  After a few more steps up the trail, I asked him what difference that had made.  He considered his answer carefully and with a little grin said, “Productivity has gone up in every department by 20% or more.”

There is a huge elephant that is limiting productivity in many organizations, and it’s called Frank… or Jim… or Mary… or Cynthia… or whoever it is in your organization that fits the description of Frank below.

I asked Dale what happened after Frank left the organization.  Again, he considered his answer carefully.  “It wasn’t what happened after Frank left.  It was mostly what didn’t happen while he was there.”  

We stopped hiking and I pulled out my 3×5 card and pen.  

“With Frank, we lost interest.  We just did what we had to do to get our paychecks.” 

“But why?”

Dale frowned and proceeded slowly.  “I got to the point where I didn’t really care anymore.   I was never good enough for him… and it always felt like he was either scolding me or telling me what to do.  In fact, now that I think about it, I didn’t really feel like I was a human being.  I just felt like I was a cog in a machine that he was using to get HIS job done.”

“So who has taken his place?”

“Well that’s the funny thing.  We don’t have a permanent replacement yet, but I guess we have to credit Jean.   The CEO brought her out of retirement until we hire a new COO.”   Dale started to shake his head.   “No, it’s more than Jean.  It’s really us. It’s like we’re all new again, like we all have a new job.  We no longer have Frank breathing down our back and we’re free to do a good job.”

“But surely you still need a boss, someone to direct you.”

“Well that’s just it.  Jean doesn’t direct us.   She sort of lets us direct ourselves.”  

“Dale, I’d really appreciate it if you’d be specific here.  This might be helpful for us to share with other leaders.”

“Ok. You know, the first thing she did really surprised me.  She didn’t seem to need to impress us.  She didn’t pretend that she knew how to do our jobs.   In fact, the first thing she did was ask each of us to tell her about our departments and what is working well.”  A big smile spread across Dale’s face.   “And then she listened – I mean really listened.   Then later she asked us for our vision and how we wanted to upgrade our departments and how we planned on getting that done.”   

Dale started to ascend the trail, but then he stopped.  “Here’s the thing.  Jean treated me like I was remarkable, and I don’t know what it is, but when she treats me that way, I’m going to be that way.”

It’s true: The people around you are just like you and me.  They simply want to contribute and do a good job.  They truly want to be great. 

What will  you do today to allow and help the people around you be great?  Are there any Frank’s that you need to re-assign or re-train today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

I have an acquaintance prone to treating other people poorly. Yet, it’s not uncommon to hear him say, “I respect people who have traditional values. I use my values to guide my actions.” And “Our society needs to get back to living out of its values.”

Values are a hot topic. They are beliefs people hold, and as so many have experienced, they are beliefs to which people can become emotionally attached. Because belief systems are powerful in creating certain results, the values someone has can make or break that person.

Values can create a quandary for organizations; as people from across the community come together under one roof to work, they ensure the values will be multiple and diverse.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too often ‘values’ become value-less: a wedge, a tool that hurts results. Few would ever claim, “I value hurting other people, diminishing the efforts of others, and making sure people know I’m right.” Yet, when people pass judgment, when their values and communication isolate people, they dismantle trust, collaboration and energy – ingredients necessary for success.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

When utilized effectively, values can be the component that gives organizations a competitive edge. Values need not put teams in a predicament; instead, they should be leveraged.

To do so requires that you talk about them. Rather than focusing on what divides you, ask:

1. What values does our team stand for?
2. Collectively, where do we consistently live out of our common values? 
3. How do our values serve us and make a difference?
4. What values could we embrace more of – and why?

Ensure values add value. Get to the core of why your team does what it does by addressing values today.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

In the 1999 movie, The Sixth Sense, a main character says, “I see dead people.”  Indeed, he has the remarkable ability to see and communicate with spirits who don’t know they’re dead.

Do you have such extra-sensory perceptions? Can you tell if people are showing up for work in a lifeless state? These people are often uninspired, engaged only when it’s time to CYA, and seem to have given up on the idea that life is about more than just “getting by.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Sadly, some workplaces perpetuate this zombie-like environment. When some people come to life – with ideas, hope, and determination – they quickly receive the message: “Don’t bother. Get back to work and leave the thinking to us.”

Ineffective managers try to control and limit creativity because they see it as distracting and a threat to their own ideas. They don’t want counter-points to their arguments. Thus, they create dead people around them.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

You are not in the business of creating psychological thrillers. You are in the business of delivering better results – and enjoying the journey in doing so. Today, distinguish yourself as a leader by demonstrating your own mystical powers: bring dead people back to life.

Three steps to bringing people to life:

1. Find and acknowledge the moments when these individuals are alive.
2. Be a model for them; refuse to be a ‘victim’ to the circumstances around you.
3. Honor them; ask them for their ideas; identify what motivates them. And listen for greater understanding.

Not surprisingly, the more you bring people to life around you, the more you come alive.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

We’ve received further evidence that people don’t know what they don’t know. The response from viewers after being interviewed by the local network TV station has been enlightening. One email read, “I saw your interview…I dread going to work…and never thought to doing anything about it until now.”

And a neighbor shared that his boss, after seeing the news clip, wanted to purchase Stomp the Elephant in the Office. “I’ve talked to him for years about improving the organization,” he said. “Something clicked. Go figure.”

Here’s the elephant in the office: Millions of people go to work each day – and dread the experience. It’s alarming: They’ve succumbed to a belief system “that work sucks, and that’s just the way it is.”

The way it is doesn’t have to be the way it is.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

A friend complained about a pain in his back. He said it had bothered him for years, and prevented him from fully participating in life. “Finally, I decided I’d had enough and got it treated. Best decision I ever made. I’m now pain free.”

Do you know someone who religiously complains about the relationship they have with one or more of their co-workers? Consider the possibility that they don’t know what they don’t know – that their work environment CAN be better.

You can help by asking:

1. Do you intend to function with this painful relationship forever?
2. What’s it costing you to be ‘disabled’ because of this relationship?
3. What role are you playing in this dysfunctional relationship?
4. What would it be worth if this relationship improved?
5. What are three things you’ll do to move this forward?

What are you ready to change about what you don’t know?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?