ELEPHANT ALERT!

In college a professor informed me “You’ll never amount to much.” Ouch. Let’s say he wasn’t fond of my approach to life. The experience left me reeling.

Enter Professor P. Without extra pay or recognition, she agreed to tutor me, to inherit the professor role for a class that wasn’t hers. Today, I can’t remember the course subject, but I do remember the lesson: I CAN amount to something. What would have happened if Professor P hadn’t stepped in?

Do you know people who want to make a difference…but have a belief that they can only do so at church, as a volunteer or with their family? They go through their life waiting to make a difference.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most people are forfeiting countless hours at work with the idea that those moments are destined to be empty of value. This approach is flawed. We spend most of our time at work; therefore, the equation is simple: we can make a tremendous difference at work. 

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Professor P. didn’t know it was a seminal moment in my life. She simply saw someone in need and responded. If she HAD been looking for seminal moments she would have missed me. And I would have missed me, too.

How about you? Do you treat your hours at work as the greatest platform you have to serve others? Do you interact with others at a level where you make a difference in their life? When I’m not doing this I ask myself, “What am I waiting for?” And my silly answer is: the right opportunity.

And then I laugh – because an opportunity presents itself each time I have contact with someone else.

Thanks for the lesson, Professor P.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

This weekend children are going to peer into their Easter baskets and eye the chocolate bunny. And the first thing they’ll wonder is, “Is it hollow – or is it solid?” Kids are smart: if it’s a solid bunny they’ll get more chocolate. They, too, are after value!

Which begs the question: What do people think when they look at you?

WHAT MIGHT BE

I recently had a “hollow chocolate bunny” moment. While on a flight to work with a large organization, I sat next to (what I thought) was just another person. I was cordial. I was friendly. But I also had a lot of work to do.

Wouldn’t you know it – the next day who do I find in the session I’m conducting? The gentleman who sat next to me on the plane! I slapped myself on the forehead and thought, “Dog-gone-it, that wasn’t just another person. I wish I had spent time getting to know them.”

How hollow is that? Is my motivation to honor someone – to give them value – conditional upon if I can get something in return? I’m ashamed.

WHAT CAN BE

After a recent keynote a participant named Chuck shared, “You know, chocolate bunnies all look the same on the outside. It’s once you bite into them that you find out if they’re solid or not. People are like that, too.”

Take the chocolate bunny test: Do you deliver value regardless of what you receive in return? Or is your “giving” conditional and thus hollow? What’s the difference between people who just talk about values (hollow) and people who live out of their values (solid)? 

Here’s to the SOLID chocolate bunnies in our future.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Imagine a football team where the offensive and defensive players don’t use the same locker room. They have benches on opposite sides of the field and rarely speak. Their definition of ‘team’ ends with the like-minded people around them who have similar responsibilities.

Would you bet on a football team that takes this approach? Never, right? Ironically, do you know teams within corporations that try to deliver results the same way?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Some people focus so much on “delivering results,” they’ve lost sight of what produces results: their collective, aligned efforts. Or, they’ve been burned by "cumbiya" and the “campfire-tell-all” in the past, so they use the “you do your job and I’ll do mine” approach.

Which means hand-offs are fumbled, passes are dropped, and penalties called…resulting in a scoreboard with zero points for the home team.

WHAT CAN BE

How coordinated and collaborative is your team? Is your team so strong it lifts the entire company?

There’s a team in a Detroit organization that is going to new levels: they are proactively influencing anyone who steps on the field with them. They’re so committed to greater results – that they’re first committing themselves to each other. “One Team” is not an empty platitude, it’s a priority. And they’ve got the tools to get it done.

We’re betting on this team.

Do you have the guts to create a unified team? If so, take these steps:

1. Find a common language that moves you forward collectively;
2. Focus on building people – instead of fixing them; and
3. Agree to fight for one another – especially when a teammate struggles.

With the power of one, “one-derful” things happen.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Woodward Avenue runs through the middle of a northern Michigan town. The community has used it as the demarcation between two school districts – splitting the community in two. 70-year-old men wear opposing letter jackets around town, making their claim as to which side of the avenue “is the best.”

Does your organization have a Woodward Avenue? Are there barriers between people, teams and departments?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Unenlightened leaders place such a demand on results that they breed hostility amongst the troops. Fierce fighting rages for resources. Positioning is constant. Efforts are made to sabotage the successes of others. A “gotta get mine” mentality is worn like a badge, while secrets are whispered as people go underground to save themselves.

Competition is good, except when it’s ugly: When an organization cannibalizes itself everybody loses, including the customer.

WHAT CAN BE

Results are crucial; HOW we get results reveals the true leaders among us.

These are “tough times” in Michigan. Cuts, lay-offs, and bitter negotiations with unions are sending some deeper into their bunkers – but not in the town with Woodward Avenue. Here, there are a band of leaders on both sides of the street who are big enough to see today’s changes as a significant opportunity.

“We’re reaching out, sharing resources, and having conversations that we never had before,” says one of the superintendents. With “one community” guess who wins? (Hint: it’s an eight-letter word that begins with ‘C’.)

And what do those 70-year-old men wearing letter jackets think? One summed it up best: “It’s about time.”

Where’s your Woodward Avenue? Are you big enough to point at what we’re really competing against?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

My wife came up with the title above. Which, of course, means she’s right…and which provides me with an age-old reminder, and one that always proves valuable.

Am I more interested in being “right” than I am in moving things forward? Than having harmonious relationships with others? Than creating the synergies with others that will propel us to future success?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Too often my ego demands that I inform others that I’m the smartest person in the room. This “inform”-ation manifests itself in my talking too much; in selling my ideas to others (because, of course, my ideas are brilliant); in getting defensive when someone disagrees with me; in claiming ownership of every successful scheme that exists; and whispering “see, I told you so” when a plan fails.

Is it possible that when I impose my will on others it reveals my incompetence as a leader?

WHAT CAN BE

A friend vows that in ’08 he’ll keep his mouth shut more often in meetings. He’s one of the most talented individuals I know. He’s not keeping his mouth shut so as to withhold information; he’s shutting up so he can lead more effectively.

I have another friend who carries a cork in his pocket. It’s a reminder that his words are not like wine: they don’t get better with time. Quantity is not quality.

That’s why, when my wife and I travel, I’m letting her drive. Who cares if she chooses a different lane than I would, we take a different route, or she doesn’t shift gears when I would. I’m more interested in our healthy relationship than being the only driver in the family.

Who’s the driver when you’re around? And where are you driving people?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

If you live in a cave, this blog will be of no value. If you want to improve your effectiveness in business and with your family, then consider the following for an immediate upgrade.

To begin, how effective are you at creating strong – and enjoyable – relationships with those around you?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Many approach relationships with a “what have you done for me lately?” strategy. Such people strengthen relationships only with people from whom they can get something. Relationships are approached with the “50-50 mentality.” Translation: “You’ve got to give your share if you want to get mine.”

This is how I approached my first marriage. And that ended in a divorce. It’s also how I managed my first career. And I got fired.

Enough said.

WHAT CAN BE

My friend Randy Ferguson reminds me: “I am 100% responsible for the relationships in my life.”  How dare I tell those I have relationships with that my efforts are conditional? I’m either in or out.

Those who live exceptional lives and climb the ranks of the “achieved” operate with high integrity. As reported in Executive Leadership, Leonard Roberts, CEO of Tandy Corp., says, “You cannot maintain your integrity 90% and be a leader. It’s got to be 100%.”

So as you consider the relationship you have…are you in or are you out?

And as you approach the holiday season – and plan your leadership growth in ’08 – what will be your approach: wait to see who gives you the most expensive present under the tree…or give others the gift of the 100% YOU?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Is there someone in your office whose head bobs as they dodge accountability? Someone whose “gobble-gobble” backward-focused diatribes “gobble” up precious minutes in meetings? Someone who thinks they’ve earned their feathers – yet the feathers can’t even lift them off the ground to fly?

If yes, then you’ve got a turkey in your office.

WHAT MIGHT BE

How do most people deal with the turkeys in their office? They dream of grilling them and serving them to the dogs.

Ironically, the most common tactics in dealing with office turkeys are to:

1. Get angry with them;
2. Spread the anger to others through gossip;
3. ‘Wish’ management would commence turkey hunting season; and
4. Enter into the same “gobble-gobble” non-sense the turkey is using.

Logically, the above strategies are flawed. There is another way – and while radical, it’s nearly fail-proof at eliminating turkeys.

WHAT CAN BE

How to eliminate turkeys: give thanks for them. No, this isn’t a once-a-year, ‘tis the season strategy. The following four steps are a legitimate and proven approach to eliminating turkeys:

1. Accept them as they are;
2. See them for what they are: an opportunity for you to become more effective at managing and leading yourself;
3. Develop a relationship with them (people don’t change because their enemies say they should – they change when their friends assist them); and
4. Tell the truth openly about what behavior is important – and why – to move forward.

The fact is everyone is someone else’s turkey – including you. If we go around identifying the turkeys in our office, we turn the place into a turkey farm. Make this a Thanksgiving to remember by being grateful for the lessons the turkeys in your life are bringing to you.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

The Sneeze Factor phenomenon: on the first of four days of training, when an individual sneezes, typically the room remains silent, void of the traditional “bless you” response.

This is an important observation. Three days later, after getting to know each other, when someone on the same team sneezes, nearly the entire group says, “bless you.”

What’s your Sneeze Factor? Do you support others even when you don’t know them?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Most people only support others whom they have a relationship with – and a good one at that. This sort of “conditional” approach is one I used in my sandbox as a child: I’ll be nice to you if you’re nice to me.

Carrying this strategy into my adult life has resulted in being able to influence – lead – only when conditions are right.  This lame approach is like playing basketball with one arm; I’m only half as effective as I could be.

WHAT CAN BE

There are people who approach life – leadership – differently. It could be argued that they are the only ones who lead us to new possibilities as a society.

Your slice of society is the culture you work in. Around you there are individuals who aren’t waiting for others to take the High Road with them – these people take that route regardless of the conditions. These are leaders who, when someone sneezes – a person makes a mistake, they say the wrong thing or perhaps they even attempt to hurt us – these leaders say “bless you.” And in so doing they take us all to a higher level.

What’s your Sneeze Factor?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

Recently a friend made this discovery: tired of a colleague who was not doing their share of work, my friend found himself complaining about his colleague to the other four people on his team.

“It suddenly occurred to me,” he said, “Every time I talk about the poor performance of my colleague I am broadcasting the very thing that is driving me crazy. I’m not helping the situation. I am making the situation worse.

WHAT MIGHT BE

How often are we confronted by behavior in others that we find disagreeable? When this happens to the average person they respond by establishing their own radio station. They devote precious hours transmitting the foul message to anyone who will tune into their frequency.

Johnny Cash sang, “Misery loves company.” He was right. Soon, everyone around this person is miserable.

WHAT CAN BE

Leaders who are above average do everything they can to change the behavior. For starters, they don’t broadcast the ugly message. They broadcast messages that will move things forward. They talk about what is important. They talk about why these things are important. They share information on where they see progress. They broadcast what’s possible. They emit hope.

Most of us have one or two people in our lives who are such radio stations, who deliver such messages. We know that when we tune into them, our results and lives are better.

How do people feel when they tune into you? What messages are you broadcasting?

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”? You decide.

WHAT APPEARS TO BE

“I can no longer trust him,” the middle manager told me, shaking his head. “He’s ruined it. And he’ll never have my trust again.”

We all know trust is important. But what is trust?

WHAT MIGHT BE

Too many people interpret trust to mean “the other person does everything they say they’re going to do.” This definition is dangerous, because it is blurred with another definition: “The other person will do everything I expect them to do.”

This means trouble. How many people do everything they say they’re going to do? (This is probably a short list.) Next, ask yourself how many people you know who do everything you expect them to do? (Is there anyone on your list?)

When someone says, “I don’t trust him,” are they actually saying, “I’m not willing to accept that person as they are or the past as it is?” As poor as this choice is, at least we’re being honest. Trust is no longer the issue – acceptance is.

WHAT CAN BE

The biggest cost in not trusting someone is not the imaginary penalty we place on others. Most likely, the person in question couldn’t care less. The penalty is often paid by us. In deciding I don’t trust someone I default to carrying around anger and resentment. That’s not very smart.

Try an experiment: Determine who you are ready to “accept” as they are – so you can let go of the “upset.” Next, watch what happens to the feelings of trust between the two of you.

I’d make a prediction about the trust that could develop, but I don’t know how serious you are about accepting others as they are.

What is the difference between what “might be” and what “can be”?  You decide.