Did you hear they are considering a new competition for future Olympics? This sport – one that occurs in offices around the world – has become so fashionable that the Olympic Committee can no longer refute its popularity: Communication Competition.

Colossal communication collapses take place every day due to one primary reason: People enter into conversations with the objective of winning, as if the person they are communicating with is their opponent. Communications become a sport – and quite dysfunctional – as participants in dialogues place an extra effort on proving they are superior.

Here are the tell-tale signs of communication competition:

1. When one person is more interested in proving the other wrong…rather than working together to evolve a mutually identified idea.
2. When people have a tone or use words that communicate to others “You’re an idiot”…rather than operating with the wisdom that no perspective (even their own) is ever complete.
3. When the mantra of “the customer is first” means we must bludgeon each other with commands…versus ensuring we are serving each other and making our team stronger – so that we can serve the customer in extraordinary ways.
4. When we fool ourselves by sending emails thinking the electronic format provides a defense from which we can fire missiles…rather than picking up the phone or walking down the hallway to demonstrate our maturity.
5. When we split the room in two while arguing with one-another by using words like “I disagree/agree”…instead of using words like, “from our perspective,” or “let’s continue to explore this thought,” to debate an idea and achieve alignment.

When you communicate, what are you saying about yourself? What are you telling others is your highest priority?

Wellness Culture leaders, those who lead high-performing workplaces, are only interested in winning as an organization. Their words and emails consistently inform the team: We want the same thing – success. Therefore, communications need not be competitions, but the primary vehicle to move people and results forward faster.

The Most Important Contribution You Can Make to Your Team

Vannoy and Ross

How can you best contribute to your team’s success? The answer may surprise you.

Our last leadership post received an abundance of attention – and created some confusion. “Shame on you for putting forth an example that voting against ourselves (with the implication we’re voting for others) guarantees a loss,” shared one reader. We love this reader’s passion to do whatever it takes to ensure her team wins!

So let’s clarify: “Voting for yourself” in this context does not mean voting against someone else. It is not designed to imply that you must win…so someone else can lose. And unquestionably, as we review the metaphor imbedded in the last post, we can see how such assumptions can be made. So yes, shame on us for a poor metaphor.

Let’s kick out the metaphor – and leverage the idea.

It’s shocking – staggering, really – how many people want, wish and hope their team will perform better, yet they severely limit their own contributions to others and the team. How does this happen? Ask yourself,

• Am I my own worst critic? Does my self-criticism build my confidence – or destroy it?On a regular basis, am I showing up “off a roll” just hoping to slog through another day – or am I doing my best…so I can be my best…and give my best to others?
• Am I retelling old stories about who’s a jerk and what’s making my life difficult, thus sabotaging any chances of a productive mindset – or am I using every day to create a new script, a new, more productive story?

How can you give anything to someone else if you can’t hold it yourself? Those who lack the awareness demonstrated in the questions above move through their day “voting against themselves.” (Rats! There we go again with the metaphor!) As a result, these people have little to give others and their organization.

How can you best contribute to your team’s success? Take regular steps to be the best you. That’s what your teammates are asking for.

How the Universal Healthcare Debate Can Improve Your Leadership

Vannoy and Ross

So are you enjoying the debate over universal health care in the United States? Do you find the dialogue stimulating and refreshing? Each morning do you celebrate the progress the U.S. is making? Are you proud of how people are representing themselves? And do you find yourself full of excitement for the future and enthusiastic about contributing?

Pardon our sarcasm. It is presented here for the purpose of asking this: Go back to the top paragraph and substitute ‘universal health care’ with any topic your company is facing right now. Do the answers to the question change? If they don’t, you’ve got an elephant in the office.

The toxic debate that’s being played out on the national stage is often replicated at the micro level within organizations . Countless companies are paralyzed because this elephant sits on top of their progress.

The Elephant

Somewhere, somehow some people got it in their heads that in order to get ahead, in order to move things forward, it was necessary to 1) Focus on where they don’t agree with their adversary, and 2) make the other team look stupid. It goes against all logic – yet these two approaches pervade much of society.

Consider the most important conversations that take place in any company. These are not the conversations occurring during meetings. On the contrary, it is the dialogue that happens in the one-on-one conversations outside of the meetings. This is where politics are played. And sadly, this is where too many people succumb to discussing strategies about what they don’t agree on and ways they can make the “opposing party” look bad.

You can change this today. And it’s relatively easy. Stomp this destructive elephant by:

1. insisting that all parties start with and focus on where there is agreement. Start on common ground…and build from there. And
2. insist on making everyone look good. Be relentless in your creative pursuit of the solutions that serve everyone.

Then hang on – because your organization will move forward fast.

It’s 4th and Goal: Can You Win the Game?

So you do what most coaches do: You play it safe – and kick.

Guess what? If you had gone for it, research shows you would have measurably increased your chances of winning the game. David Romer of the University of California, Berkeley, analyzed over 700 football games between 1998 and 2000. His work revealed that those teams who go for it on 4th down increase their overall chance of success compared with those teams who don’t.*

So why don’t more coaches “go for it” when they find themselves in such a situation? Perhaps more importantly, why don’t more people in your organization “go for it” when they have an opportunity to take a risk and advance the cause of the organization?

The answer is not that people are afraid of making a mistake; the answer is that people are afraid of the consequences from others when they make a mistake.

Just as the football coach has to face the chorus of boos from the home crowd – and the blistering analysis in the media – when his team fails, so do people like you have to face the judgment of others when you step up and try something…and fail.

It’s easy to consider how we feel our colleagues will respond to the ‘mistakes’ we make. But that’s not the point. The challenge is this: How do you and others respond when someone else takes a risk? Do you boo – or cheer?

In a very real way, the crowd of 70,000 and the media talk shows represent your culture. Does your culture support others when they “go for it” on 4th down? Do your part today to make sure it does.

*(http://elsa.berkeley.edu/~dromer/papers/PAPER_NFL_JULY05_FORWEB_CORRECTED.pdf).

 Sometimes, we have to pass along one of the hundreds of stories we’ve received from people who are using the Pathways to Leadership tools (www.pathwaystoleadership.com) to create greater results. Here’s a powerful one from Steve S that may affect how you interact with people today:

 “A global positioning system (GPS) can tell you where you are – and can provide specific directions on how to get to your destination. The tool chooses the best and fastest route. 

 “What is interesting is how it handles my deviations from its preferred route. Once, as I got close to home I chose my own route by going straight – even though the GPS instructed me to turn.

“Each time I disobeyed it stated, ‘Recalculating,’ and immediately gave me a revised route to the destination, based upon where I was. Time after time, deviation after deviation, its only feedback was new directions to my original goal.

 “What struck me was that it didn’t say, ‘I told you to turn left.’  It didn’t blame me by saying, ‘Because of your deviation you just added 1.2 miles to our trip!’  It didn’t threaten by uttering, ‘Well great, now we’re lost. If you’re not going to listen then I’m done trying to help.’

 “I have reflected on this when supporting my kids and colleagues. When I’m not flexing my Awareness Muscle (from the book, Stomp the Elephant in the Office, Pg 129. www.stomptheelephant.com ), I want to say ‘I told you that would happen,’ or ‘If you had listened to me this would not be the result.’ 

 “I think the GPS’s approach is best. Forget the past – and focus on where and how you can best support. We are all on different journeys to desired destinations and with great frequency we take detours. Stay focused on what’s necessary to move forward, recalculate, and continue to move towards your goal!”

 Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

I have an acquaintance prone to treating other people poorly. Yet, it’s not uncommon to hear him say, “I respect people who have traditional values. I use my values to guide my actions.” And “Our society needs to get back to living out of its values.”

Values are a hot topic. They are beliefs people hold, and as so many have experienced, they are beliefs to which people can become emotionally attached. Because belief systems are powerful in creating certain results, the values someone has can make or break that person.

Values can create a quandary for organizations; as people from across the community come together under one roof to work, they ensure the values will be multiple and diverse.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Too often ‘values’ become value-less: a wedge, a tool that hurts results. Few would ever claim, “I value hurting other people, diminishing the efforts of others, and making sure people know I’m right.” Yet, when people pass judgment, when their values and communication isolate people, they dismantle trust, collaboration and energy – ingredients necessary for success.

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

When utilized effectively, values can be the component that gives organizations a competitive edge. Values need not put teams in a predicament; instead, they should be leveraged.

To do so requires that you talk about them. Rather than focusing on what divides you, ask:

1. What values does our team stand for?
2. Collectively, where do we consistently live out of our common values? 
3. How do our values serve us and make a difference?
4. What values could we embrace more of – and why?

Ensure values add value. Get to the core of why your team does what it does by addressing values today.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Have you ever tried forcing opposing ends of a magnet together? It’s impossible to get them to connect.

Does your organization suffer from “diamagnetism”? Are there teams opposing each other?

From Wikipedia.org: “Diamagnetism is the property of an object which causes it to create a magnetic field in opposition of an externally applied field, thus causing a repulsive effect.”

To understand why diamagnetism is important, read the definition again, but this time substitute the “team” for the word “object.”

Like two magnets you can’t push together, diamagnetism occurs when two (or more) teams repel each other. And very little work gets done.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Organizations are filled with teams that repulse others. Shockingly, people tolerate this dysfunction! Toxic currents run through meetings and conversations. People might not say anything about this invisible force – but they can feel it. How is a company to succeed when various functions can’t connect?

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

“In order for us to win, it’s vital that the different layers of the organization can come together,” shares a friend, Rich. “If they repel each other we’re doomed.”

The code words for diamagnetism are “they just don’t understand.” When two groups begin saying this about each other, one thing is sure: no one understands. And the divisiveness expands.

Take three steps to create greater paramagnetism today:

1. Take responsibility when others don’t understand you;
2. Ask questions that help people focus on where the teams are working well together;
3. Relentlessly focus on the common goal the two teams share – and solutions to get there.

Where is there diamagnetism in your organization? Make functionABILITY happen.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

Imagine you are the coach for the defending Super Bowl champions, New York Giants. Because you won last year, you tell the team, “It’s obvious we have the best talent, so we’re not going to practice together. Just show up on game day ready to play.”

This insane approach would result in a 0-16 record and the end of your career. Shockingly, guess what the predominant approach is in business?

Here’s the elephant in the office: Despite the best of intentions, the traditional “training mentality” is costing companies billions of dollars. Giving people a “once-in-a-while” chance to improve how well they work together backfires; people become cynical and skeptical and an attitude of “the company values rhetoric” emerges as employees are exposed to a daily dose of dysfunctional teamwork.

“Once in a while” must be replaced with “all the time.”

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

An event-based, build-the-team-once-in-a-while mentality is the predominant approach in business. Most of the people reading this blog are a part of a company that has achieved a paradigm shift: It is in EVERY interaction you have with others that defines and determines your effectiveness as a team. This is the essence of culture.

Therefore, successful organizations equip team members with leadership tools they can apply in daily interactions. These companies understand that it is in every conversation you have with a colleague that you are either destroying your culture – or making it stronger.

Professionals understand that “game day” only reflects the efforts and effectiveness delivered in the previous six days. Instead of building a team “once in a while,” they know that the only way to win is via a systemic, moment-by-moment approach.

Results never lie: this is the only way to win. What will you do in your interactions today to bring your team one step closer to victory?

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?

ELEPHANT ALERT!

A team in Windsor, Canada is kicking butt. Faced with a significant challenge, they need to deliver more product, faster, with greater quality, while using fewer resources. Here’s why they’ll succeed.

As they launched their healthy culture initiative each person was asked to identify what strengths the person to their right possesses. As people spoke the confidence in the room went to an all-time high. That’s when Jeff summed it up.

“When you add up the qualities we just heard you have the complete list of what it takes to be a great leader.” He looked around the room. “This team has everything it needs to be a success.”

Few organizations function at this level.

Here’s the elephant in the office: Most organizations espouse the importance of teamwork…and then reward the individual. Teams don’t get promoted, individuals do; they don’t do performance reviews for teams, they do them for individuals; and endless conversations are had about the people who are “ruining it for everyone” versus having a dialogue around “how our culture lifts the standard of conduct for all.”

STOMP THE ELEPHANT

Take teamwork beyond rhetoric for your team today by using this exercise: collectively identify the greatest strengths each person on the team brings each day. Keep a master list. Then ask these questions:
1) How can we leverage the greatest strengths in each other?
2) What will it look like as each of us is free to live these strengths even more?
3) What outcomes are possible when we collectively approach the obstacles in front of us?

The greatest successes are achieved by those who discover and leverage the brilliance in each other.

Where will you lead – where will you stomp elephants – today?